Mason Rudolph is not a starting quarterback in the NFL

I've said it and the end this will confirm it tomorrow night. I don't care how good [Mason Rudolph] is tomorrow night if he does really, really well. He's not a starting quarterback in the NFL. I've seen enough of his face.

The Falcons are officially dead for the 2019 season

Falcons are dead. They are officially dead... I don't even think they have like fighting them. Dan Quinn needs to be fired.

Matthew Stafford outdueled Patrick Mahomes in Week 4

Matt Stafford, I'm going to say this, Matt Stafford outdueled Patrick Mahomes. ... [Mahomes] did not look sharp. He was missing guys. He was throwing guys—he looked okay, but he wasn't Patrick Mahomes.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.