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Win
Sep 26, 2018
#3421
Big CatBig Cat

Ryan Fitzpatrick is the most classic NFL player because you can see his magic disappearing in real-time

I love Ryan Fitzpatrick. If you don't love Ryan Fitzpatrick, you got a big old dump in your pants because he is so classic and you can tell the minute Ryan Fitzpatrick is losing his magic. It is so fun to watch the downfall. It's great to watch the rise. He will get to the highest of highs, and then he will get to the lowest of lows.

Ryan Fitzpatrick's career was famously defined by stretches of elite play followed by high-turnover slumps (e.g., 2018 with the Bucs).

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Void
Sep 26, 2018
#3422
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Ryan Fitzpatrick is the best sliding quarterback in the NFL

I'll say this about him. I think [Ryan Fitzpatrick] is the league's best sliding quarterback. He knows exactly when to time his slides to make it just a little appetizing for the defender to throw a shoulder into his head. So sabermetrically, I'm sure he picks up more of those [penalties].

This is a subjective assessment of a quarterback's 'sliding' skill for the purpose of drawing flags.
Push
Sep 26, 2018
#3423
Big CatBig Cat

NFL offenses should stop blocking and let defenders hit the QB to draw 15-yard penalties

I'm actually at the point now where I think if I were a coach in the NFL, I would say to my offensive line, just treat every play like a screen and half of you don't block. And let them get to the quarterback because we'll most likely get 15 yards.

While no team ever literally stopped blocking, the 2018 season saw a massive spike in roughing the passer calls that influenced defensive behavior.
Void
Sep 26, 2018
#24114
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

You have to keep starting Ryan Fitzpatrick until it gets 'real ugly'

You ride Ryan Fitzpatrick until it gets real ugly. Here's why you don't [bench him]... I want him out there until he pulls like a Dan Orlovsky and does something as dumb as like sprinting out of the back of the end zone into the tunnel with a ball.

Subjective coaching philosophy, but the Bucs did start him one more game (against the Bears) where it did indeed get 'real ugly' and he was benched.

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Void
Jul 17, 2026·Mt. Rushmore
#30966
Big CatBig Cat

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

While funny, avian intelligence is usually measured by tool use (crows) or problem-solving, though urban adaptation is a form of intelligence.
Void
Jul 15, 2026
#30948
Big CatBig Cat

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

This is a hypothetical claim about a retired player's current ability, which is fundamentally subjective.
Void
Jul 15, 2026
#30949
Big CatBig Cat

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.

Inherently subjective and hyperbolic comparison.