The unluckiness of the New York Jets is unrivaled in professional sports

The power of the unluckiness of the New York Jets is unrivaled in professional sports. I feel bad for Mike Greenberg... but if I'm in the trust tree, it was also kind of funny... that they had six months where it's like we finally solved our quarterback situation... and then four plays in, it's like, well, we're fucked again.

Announcers need to stop saying 'asterisk' on wins

I don't know why it's become a thing that announcers are now saying asterisk. They did it for the Lions game too. Tarico did the asterisk for No Kelsey, Chris Jones. And then last night they're like, well, asterisk there was tripping on the part return. Who the fuck cares. The Wind's a win.

Colin Kaepernick would suck if he returned to the NFL now because he hasn't played in seven years

[Kaepernick], he hasn't played in what, six years? Seven years. So he's gonna come back and he's gonna suck ass because he hasn't played football in forever... if you love Colin Kaepernick, if you think he got jobbed by the NFL, you should actually be hoping and praying that he does not get a chance to play anymore.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.