Tiger Woods loses his 'man card' for needing his dad to teach him how to drink water between beers
Tiger Woods, I'm taking your man card, first of all... Asking your dad to teach you how to drink a beer because you puked at a fricking frat party once? Man card again. How many times can I take this man card?
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View episodeThe only people to ever make Minnesota cool are Kirby Puckett, Kevin Garnett, and Prince
It's basically the list of people who have made the state of Minnesota cool are like Kirby Puckett, Kevin Garnett, and Prince. That's it.
The pinnacle of celebrity status is when nobody makes jokes about your death on Twitter
That's when you know you've made it. Like, Prince died. Everyone is really sad... Prince is no jokes. There are no jokes. David Bowie was the same way. You don't do jokes when Prince dies. So that's really, like, the pinnacle of celebrity is people don't joke about your death.
Skip Bayless and Curt Schilling are 'bad guys' that sports fans actually need in their lives
You want Skip [Bayless] in your life. Like, you're complaining about him. He's the bad guy. He's like Tony Montana walking through that restaurant, right? You have to have somebody that you point at that's got the shittiest takes that you almost... that you love to hate.
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View profileOhio State moved senior night because it is scared of Michigan
If you're saying, 'Hey, we can't do it for the Michigan game because it's something that's just totally different and separate unto itself,' do it the last home game before that, which would be Northwestern. But that senior night though should be—you'd basically just be saying, 'I'm scared of doing it against Michigan.'
Michigan is closer to 7-5 than a playoff team
If Bryce Underwood doesn't take a massive step forward, this is closer to a seven-five team than a playoff team.
Wisconsin has to win eight games
He's gotta win eight. I think he would tell you he's gotta win eight. Because if you win seven, that means you probably lost to Penn State, Iowa, USC and UCLA or Minnesota, and it's like some of those are not okay.