Tom Brady will never die

Tom Brady will never die. ... Even when he got the ball back again down seven or down six, you knew he was gonna win the game.

The Saints are afraid to play Jameis Winston because they know they mishandled his earlier injury

I have a conspiracy theory... I think the Saints know that they fucked up his injury when it happened when they put [Jameis Winston] back in. And I think that they're trying to make sure that they're doing the right thing for his health on the back end of it... That's why I think that we're not getting James. They're afraid to play him right now.

The Raiders still have a non-zero chance to make the playoffs

The Las Vegas Raiders are five and seven. I didn't realize that they've won three in a row. ... There's not a 0% chance they're not gonna make the playoffs anymore.

Cristiano Ronaldo is an absolute bum

But yeah, Ronaldo's, I mean, he's an absolute bum. I think we can all agree, right? Zach?

Jaylen Brown is the best or second best player on every team in the NBA.

It is insane that anyone would say that [Jaylen Brown] is the seventh best player on an NBA team. He's gonna be the best or second best player depending on what team you pick. I don't think you can pick a team that you'd be the, I actually don't think you could pick a team that you'd be the third best.

Baker Mayfield will have a bounce-back year

Baker's gonna have a bounce back year. He's not injured anymore. You get healthy. Play fast. Play good.