Takes

Chris Davis's hitless streak is actually fun to watch

Do you feel bad for Chris Davis, who is now 0 for 53? [PFT]: No, because it's so much fun to watch. And if the Orioles were going to be a threat to do anything this year, then maybe I would be. But he's helping them.

Adam Ottavino could strike out Babe Ruth every single time

Adam Ottavino says that he can strike out Babe Ruth every single time. Well, he definitely can right now, Babe Ruth's dead body... [But seriously] Adam Ottavino, I agree. Well, I definitely think so.

Phillies manager Gabe Kapler is incompetent and trying to get fired

I don't think we've ever seen someone become a baseball manager that doesn't know what the fuck he's doing whatsoever... Everyone's got to follow Gabe Kapler because I think this is the first time ever where someone got a job they didn't want and they're trying to get fired.

Umpires are more likely to be lenient with Trevor Bauer because he supports Donald Trump

I think he would be more likely to be a successful pitcher as a Trump supporter because I'm going to go out on a limb and say that most umpires are probably Trump supporters. Blue Lives Matter. That's what they call umpires... I feel like Country Joe [West] might be pulling the lever for Trump... umpires would be more likely to be lenient with a Trump-supporting pitcher.