PMT DB
PMT DB
Vinny and DJ Pauly D on Jersey Shore, The Masters, and NBA/NHL Playoffs
Hello, friends. It is officially the greatest time of year. Between the Masters, the start of the NBA playoffs, and the chaos of the NHL postseason, there is almost too much sports to handle. Big Cat and PFT Commenter are locked in, even if Hank is being a bit of a Grinch about the pageantry of Augusta National. While Big Cat is soaking in the azaleas and pimento cheese, PFT is looking forward to the quiet dignity of the golf nap.
PFT CommenterMasters Sunday is the biggest napping day of the year
Everybody watches the Masters by themselves, maybe with their dad, maybe with a roommate or something like that, but it is the one day a year where you can take part in the biggest sporting event of that sport of the year and just sit there and chill, fall asleep, take a nap. It's the biggest Seebs Day of the year.
The Stanley Cup playoffs are also underway, which means PFT is entering his annual state of "not worried" about the Capitals. He's so confident in the defending champs that he's already planning a very gross bet with Will Brinson involving Pete Prisco's back hair.
PFT CommenterThe Capitals will beat the Hurricanes in five games
I'm assuming they're [Capitals] going to win. It's Caps-Canes. Sounds like a Burlington Coat Factory, not a playoff series. I'm very confident. I'm thinking, like, Caps in five.
NBA Playoff Preview and Rick Pitino's Return
The NBA playoffs start Saturday, and the vibes in Boston are at an all-time low. With Marcus Smart sidelined, Hank is officially hitting the panic button on the Celtics' season before it even begins.
HankThe Celtics won't make it past the second round of the NBA playoffs
The panic button is pressed. If they make it past, like, the second round, I'll be surprised. I mean, it's like you would say [Marcus Smart] is the heart and soul of the team. They are already kind on a rocky road going into it.
Out West, the guys are looking at the Warriors' inevitable march toward another ring. Big Cat isn't happy about it, but he's calling it like he sees it, even predicting a very short spring for the Clippers.
Big CatThe Clippers will not win a single game against the Warriors
The Clippers are going to annoy them in the first round. They're not going to win. They might not even win a game, but the Clippers are like the all-hustle team.
Big CatThe Warriors will win the 2019 NBA Championship
Out West, I think the Warriors are going to win the NBA title. Okay, that is a fucking take. Watch out, guys. Take warning. I fucking... Oh, man. I wish someone would beat them because that's what really kind of dampens the... well, you think someone... I mean, Houston could.
While the Warriors remain the favorites, Hank is feeling bold and decided to take the field against Golden State.
HankI'm taking the field over the Warriors to win the 2019 NBA Championship
Can I pick the field? ... whatever you guys are ready to risk, like, I'll risk it for the biscuit.
Beyond the current playoffs, the guys are taking it upon themselves to get Rick Pitino back on a sideline. After a suspicious "sighting" of Rick in Cincinnati, Big Cat is ready to welcome the legendary coach to his own alma mater if it means winning a title.
Big CatWisconsin should hire Rick Pitino as their next head coach
We need to do a better job of getting Rick Pitino a job... Where else is there a head coaching vacancy? [Hank: Wisconsin]. I'd fucking take him in a second. I think that would make my life so much better if Rick Pitino was the coach. I mean, we would win the national title.
Vinny and DJ Pauly D Join the Show
Jersey Shore royalty Vinny and DJ Pauly D stopped by the studio to talk about their new show, Double Shot at Love. The guys tried to figure out if you can actually find love in a house with 20 women or if it's just a "ratchet version of The Bachelor." Things got educational when Big Cat and PFT introduced the "Keto Guido" and Pauly to the Mormon concept of "soaking," a term they were surprisingly unfamiliar with despite their decade of experience in the field.
Pauly D also gave an honest assessment of where he and Vinny sit on the celebrity hierarchy.
DJ Pauly DI am a B-plus level celebrity
What level of celebrity do you guys think you are now? [Vinny]: D minus... [DJ Pauly D]: Yeah, he's like a B. B plus. [Big Cat]: I live with that.
We also got some inside info on the Jersey Shore crew, including the fact that The Situation is currently in prison with Billy McFarland. Pauly also weighed in on his buddy Rob Gronkowski's recent retirement, and he doesn't think the big man is actually done with the game just yet.
DJ Pauly DRob Gronkowski will return to the NFL if Tom Brady calls him
I'm really sad about the whole [Gronk retirement]. [Big Cat: You think he's going to keep playing?] I do. I don't know how many games, but I think if Brady calls him, I mean, how could you say no to Brady, in my opinion?
Who's Back and Hot Seat/Cool Throne
The show wrapped up with some quick hitters, including a look at the dumpster fire that is the Memphis Grizzlies and the ongoing misery of the Chicago Bulls. Big Cat is losing his mind over the Bulls giving Jim Boylan a three-year extension and is desperate for a lucky charm at the draft lottery.
Big CatThe Bulls should send Bill Murray or Jim Belushi to represent them at the draft lottery
Zion. Maybe Zion... That's going to be the biggest night of the Bulls probably since Derrick Rose left. You need to figure out who the ultimate good luck charm is. Jim Belushi. Final answer. [PFT]: Or Bill Murray. [Big Cat]: Get Bill Murray to do it. Yes.
Finally, we had a brief Embrace Debate on Chris Davis and his historic 0-for-53 hitless streak. While most people feel bad for the guy, PFT is finding the absolute bottom of the barrel to be must-see TV.
PFT CommenterChris Davis's hitless streak is actually fun to watch
Do you feel bad for Chris Davis, who is now 0 for 53? [PFT]: No, because it's so much fun to watch. And if the Orioles were going to be a threat to do anything this year, then maybe I would be. But he's helping them.
If you see a bald man in a Cincinnati polo shirt this weekend, please do not alert the authorities, just alert Leroy.
