Takes

The Celtics are the better team because they have won 10 out of 12 quarters in the series

The Celtics have played better than the Heat and every single one of the games. If you go by quarters, they've won 10 of them. Which to me means that they're the better team.

NBA playoffs are becoming less interesting because high 3-point variance leads to too many blowouts

There have been more games that have been won by double digits than games that have won by less than double digit. 38 games have been decided by double digits, 20 of those have been 20 points plus. It's essentially like which team just hits their threes in a given night. If your team makes all the threes, they win by 10 plus. If they don't, they lose by 10 plus.

If the Heat win Game 4 against the Celtics, they will close the series at home

I think if the Heat win tomorrow, they'll close the deal at home.

Jayson Tatum is a fraud and Jimmy Butler is the best player in the world

For right now, Jayson Tatum's a fraud. [Jimmy Butler] might be the best player in the world. Jason Tatum needed more help and Jimmy Butler might be the best player in the world.

Coach K is the worst NBA coach to never have coached in the NBA

Coach K would be a worst head coach than Calipari was when he was head coach. He's the worst NBA coach to never have coached in the NBA.

Chet Holmgren will be the #1 overall pick in the 2022 NBA Draft

I think it's going to be Chet [Holmgren]. I think I was thinking Jabari [Smith] was going to go number one before the lottery happened, but then I think Orlando is going to love Chet. High school together [with Jalen Suggs], I think that's going to win out in the end.

The Warriors winning another title would be a nice 'thank you' for the era of great basketball they provided

I also think like, I don't know why, but I just want the Warriors to win another title just as like a thank you to them for all the awesome basketball they've let us watch. Everyone already knows they're all time great, but having that extra title after they're all past their peak... would be nice.

The Celtics vs Heat series will go at least six or seven games

I expected the US to come out and play really well tonight just because they were a very good team and it doesn't feel like it, it feels similar to the Bucks series where I think this will go back and forth. I think we're have a six or seven game series. I think this will go back and forth. I think the Heat will win one game in Boston.

European NBA players should be allowed to drink beer during games instead of Gatorade

My problem is not with the beer. I think if you're from Eastern Europe, you should be able to drink a beer, like instead of Gatorade during the game. And that would be fine.

Chris Paul might not care as much about winning as his die-hard fans do

I've been seeing this guy [Chris Paul] and it's, I mean, this is long-term and you know, like in every relationship there's always somebody, the relationship seems to matter a lot more to... It's getting to the point where like, I don't want to say, like, I'm not, I'm not trying to be a victim in this, but like, you can care about somebody for so long. And then you wonder, I don't think this person could care as much as I do.

The Celtics looked great despite losing Game 1 because they won three out of four quarters

They won three out of four quarters and lost by 11... 39 to 14 [in the third quarter]. It was a winnable game. They won three out of four quarters. They looked great in the second half.

It is bullshit that NBA players are still missing playoff games for COVID in 2022

I think it's bullshit that anyone should be out for COVID. It's like, it should be like the NFL playoffs where COVID just didn't exist. If you think that like COVID in the spring of 2022 should be deciding playoffs series, you're crazy. Like that's bullshit.

Chris Paul is the best player who kind of stinks

[Chris Paul] is the best player who kind of stinks. Chris Paul, he should be the face of the hall of very good. He should be like first inductee. He should be the president of the hall of very good.

Michael Jordan is not the greatest of all time because you can only be the greatest of a decade

Michael Jordan is not the greatest of all time. It's the same reason Michael says he's not the greatest of all time because he didn't get to play against the other greats of all time. You can be the greatest of that decade. So in the nineties... Michael Jordan was the best period. But then before that it was magic and bird. And before that it was Dr. J.

Isaiah Thomas is a better player than Steph Curry and people only rank Curry higher because Isaiah is short

The greatest player I've ever played with is Isaiah Thomas. And I have played with Michael. I have played with Kobe and Shaq, but the greatest player was Isaiah Thomas... He's six foot. And he did everything everybody else was doing. And in the same amount of time that Steph Curry was playing, Isaiah had better stats, but no one wants to mention it.

Kyle Korver is a better 3-point shooter than Steph Curry

I actually am looking at the list right now [Big Cat speaking]... Kyle Korver does have a higher percentage than Steph. [Salley]: You guys did cheat in college. I can tell because you only looking at the cliff notes. [Salley earlier arguing Dell Curry, Reggie Miller, Dale Ellis were better than Steph].

Jayson Tatum will be the 2022 NBA Finals MVP

How about if you can accurately predict who the NBA finals MVP will be right now? [Salley]: Tatum. Yep. [PFT]: Oh, then Billy has to go vegan for a month.

The Suns are officially dead

Suns are cooked, absolutely cooked. We're calling it. This game. Sons are cooked, absolutely cooked. ... I've never seen in credit to the Mavs. ... It's a combo of like the Mavs playing great, but also the Suns forgetting how to like touch a basketball.

Chris Paul is a fraud

I'm going to call it right now. I'm going to use a hard D-bomb. What's that? Hank? A fraud. ... Chris Paul is literally the best NBA player of all time that has sucked.

The Celtics will beat the Heat in five or six games

I do think the Celtics are a better team. Like I think this should be a five or six game series. And I just, you know, Heat culture all that shit, but that was, you know, even the bubble, like the Celtics team is a much different team than they were in the bubble. They're way better.

The James Harden for Ben Simmons trade was a lose-lose for both teams

I think you go back to the trade and neither team won. It was the classic lose-lose trade, like both teams in, in a weird way, got a little bit worse from this trade.

I am the last person in the world who still believes in Ben Simmons

I'm, I'm, I'm the one sucker alive that still believes in Ben Simmons. So I'm like nets could still get some out of them. Crazy, stupid irrational. So I'm not giving up on Ben Simmons. I'm the last person in the world because I'm like six, 10 point cards don't grow on trees.

The Suns are definitely going to win Game 7 against the Mavericks

I tend to agree. But now the sons are in a spot where they're playing against Lucca in a game seven where he can easily be the best player on the court. ... Right before we hopped on Hank, you said the sons are definitely gonna win game seven. Yeah. A hundred percent.

It would be better for the future of the Mavericks if they lose Game 7 to the Suns

I'll take it one step further. How's this for take, it would actually be better for the future of the Dallas Mavericks. If they lose this game. ... if they had gotten blown out in the second round, then I feel like mark Cuban would kind of like have to go nuclear and try to put something good together and get like an awesome player to team up with Luca to take that next step.

The Celtics are still going to win the series against the Bucks despite blowing Game 5

It was a devastating loss. I still think the Celtics are gonna win the series. ... I think they're going to win tonight. It's a must win.

The Grizzlies might actually be better without Ja Morant

We have a new narrative. That's very fun. Are the Grizzlies better? Without Ja Morant? ... the stat is the warriors or sorry, the Grizzlies are now I think 21 and six without Ja Morant.

Eighty-three percent of the time the winner of Game 5 in a 2-2 series wins the series

If you look at it, that that is a correct, but the more important stat is 83% of the time that a series is tied 2-2, that winner of game five goes on to win the series.

The Heat and Suns will both win their Game 6 matchups

I would bet that both of these teams that won tonight [Heat and Suns] are probably going to win game six.

Al Horford is Batman and Jason Tatum is Robin

[Al Horford]'s Batman. Jason Tatum's Robin, Jaylen Brown the Joker.

James Harden plays worse in cities with high strip club populations

You know the stat that we were talking about a couple of years ago with James Harden and how he demonstrably plays worse in cities that have high strip club populations.

Marcus Smart was clearly fouled on his three-point attempt against the Bucks

I mentioned the refs. I was only specifically talking about the last play of the game. When Marcus Smart clearly got a fouled shooting a three and they called it on the floor, only got two free throws and kind of ended the game basically.

The Celtics win Game 3 if Jayson Tatum plays even average basketball

Jayson Tatum went four for 19. He did not play well... If he just plays average, they win that game.

Chris Paul is the best player in the NBA who also sucks

Chris Paul, we, yeah, we did determine like, we all agree. He's awesome. But at the same time he sucks. And those are my favorite players. Like he is the best player in the NBA who also sucks ass.

Chris Paul is confirmed 'good' at basketball, but he's not 'great' yet

Chris Paul has always been good. In fact, the word good is the perfect word. That's a good word to describe Chris Paul. He's good... He's not great yet. But I mean, he looks unstoppable.

I want Chris Paul to fail so I can keep making fun of Ryan Russillo

I really don't want to lose this take. I don't want him to win a championship. Then we can't have this take. That's very fun to throw around and just pretend that it's all about rings... Ryan Russillo has made it to a point where it's like, I want Chris Paul to fail because I know how much it matters to him. And that's really what male friendship is about.

Luka Doncic's lack of conditioning is actually a good sign for Mavericks fans

It's actually a great lesson in life of why you should always stay a little bit overweight because you can always say I haven't peaked. I can still reach my level of best shape of my life. And when I do, y'all better watch out. And that's what Luka can do.

James Harden is no longer an elite player or a number one option

We know James Harden actually isn't an elite player in the NBA anymore. He's not a number one option on any team. No, he's just not... James Harden isn't good enough to win a series on his own. He's not even good enough to make a series competitive on home.

The NBA should limit teams to 30 three-point attempts per game

What if there was a limit to the amount of three point shots you could take? So teams now have to strategize essentially like you get to take 33 pointers again... Imagine going into a fourth quarter and being like, okay, the suns have 15, three pointers left and the Mavs have used all theirs.

The 'Many Womping' is officially back on for the Celtics

I was worried... but from my sources on the ground, inside the building, they said Grant Williams walked up to Giannis [Antetokounmpo]... the Many Womping is still backing up. I feel back. Many Womping back on.

The NBA should judge flagrant fouls by whether the play would start a fight in a pickup game

I basically judge flagrant fouls. Would this foul start a fight in a pickup basketball game? That one [Dillon Brooks on Gary Payton II] would have started a fight instantly. Instantly. Not everyone who's played pickup basketball knows there's a difference.

The NBA should introduce a 'Flagrant 3' where the victim's team gets to pick a player on the other team to be kicked out

That should be a Flagrant 3. And if there's a Flagrant 3, here's the rule. The other team, they get to pick which one of your guys is kicked out of the game. Or you could take that player's dad. So Gary Payton comes back and plays for your team the next round.

Ja Morant hovers in the air and time moves slower when he's around the basket

Ja Morant, I like, he just hovers. I don't understand it. He doesn't, he jumps up and he just doesn't come down. He does like six moves in the air. Time moves slower when he's in there. It's almost like they've already planned out the four things they're going to do in the air before they actually put the ball up.

LeBron James is living the college sorority life he never got on social media

I love LeBron James on social media, man. He's basically living the college sorority life that he never got to because he went straight to the NBA. Between his emoji game and then the egregious amount of Instagram stories that he puts up. This guy is no different than like a 22-year-old.

NBA players who get hit in the nuts should get a free shot to kick the offender back

If you get a flagrant one, you should get to kick the guy in the balls back in center court. How awesome would that be for fans? Tonight, I might see a guy just get smoked in the nuts.

I would much rather lose a game playing like absolute dogshit than lose while playing well

Spin zone is I would much rather lose a game where you play like absolute dog [and] play worse than lose a game where you're playing really well and the other team just beat you. Like the Celtics played so bad. Jaylen Brown was so bad. Jason Tatum didn't play well, no one was playing well.

Giannis Antetokounmpo is indisputably the best player in the NBA

I wonder, I think that we've all decided that Giannis is the best player in the NBA right now. Like, I don't know if that's a debate anymore. I think that's just because Giannis is too nice. If he was meaner, I don't think it would be a debate. ... [Giannis] has the killer gene. He's just will also kill you and then say a dad joke afterwards.

The Celtics will give the Bucks a 'minor whopping' in their playoff series

As with all that being said, like minor whopping... six games. If the only two that you lose are on the road, that's a minor whopping.

The Timberwolves vs. Grizzlies series will go to seven games

I agree with you. I want this to go seven. I feel bad for the Timberwolves... this series is so competitive. Every game's a war.

The Miami Heat are the most frightening team in the Eastern Conference

The Heat are such a good team right now. I would be, that's the team that would scare me as a true blue Celtics believer. That is the team that scares me out of the East.

Jason Tatum is as good as Kevin Durant right now in their respective careers

I thought that going into it, when we talked to Russillo, I was like, everyone's talking about Kevin Durant. Is there a chance that Jayson Tatum is just as good as Kevin Durant right now in their respective careers? Cause obviously Kevin Durant's a little older, a lot of injuries. Like this series, [Tatum] has been the better player. Not even, that's not even debatable offensive and defense.