Takes

Nick Saban hires fired coaches to learn how to beat them in the future

Nick Saban's little plan here is that by the time he's like 100 years old and is too old to coach, he'll actually have coached with every coach who's in college football and he knows how to beat every single one of them. So he wins like an extra seven national championships at the end of his career just because he knows everyone he's coaching against.

Bill Snyder will retire and then un-retire during his five-year contract extension

The best part about that extension is he's going to retire and come back within those five years. Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

Nick Saban only hires former head coaches as interns so he can eventually beat them

Is this Nick Saban thinking ahead and saying, Butch Jones might get another job in the SEC, so I need to put him under my coaching tree so that I can beat him? Because he's undefeated against his coaching tree.

Jim Harbaugh's story about being hit by a mail truck as a kid is probably fake

Jim Harbaugh was Hit by a mail truck driver When he was 7 years old And he found the mail truck driver Nearly 50 years later In Iowa... This is a fake story. This is a fake story by Jim Harbaugh because this is... you can't come up with a story that's more Jim Harbaugh than this.