Takes

The NFL needs more players like Vontaze Burfict

The NFL needs more Vontaze Burfict. Not the other way around. I want to be scared going over the middle. You need a guy like that in the league at all times.

The Patriots' franchise success is suspiciously linked to the aftermath of 9/11

Patriots completely changed the course of their franchise after [9/11]. Look into it... the plot thickens. Bill Belichick has not won a Super Bowl without a quarterback [or a national tragedy].

Bill Belichick signs white receivers just to confuse Chris Collinsworth

I think that he just signs white receivers and running backs just to confuse Chris Collinsworth. So the announcers have to take another 15 seconds after they get a first down or touchdown to just make sure that they get the guy's name right.

Jeff Fisher is a king for blaming his failures on Stedman Bailey and Tre Mason

Somehow blamed the last five years of sucking on two draft picks. ... 'We've had some unfortunate things take place with some high picks in Stedman, Bailey, and Trey Mason.' ... King stay king.

Jeff Fisher is lowering the unemployment rate by cutting so many players and creating new jobs for others

Since he's been such a bad coach, he's had to cut a lot of players, which means he's created new jobs for other players. So really, he's out there. He's lowering the unemployment rate.