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West Virginia Head Coach Dana Holgorsen 12/09/16

Friday, December 9, 201625 takes

Thursday Night Football recap and what a cold bundled up Andy Reid means for our happiness ( - ). Week 14 NFL Picks and Heisman preview ( - ). West Virginia Head Coach Dana Holgorsen joins the show to talk football, his hair, and how many Red Bull's he drinks in a single day ( - ). Segments include Stay Classy, Kings Stay Kings, PR 101, Stay Woke, Respect The Biz, and Jimbos of the week. Bonus - flipping a water bottle on to a table game.

Dana Holgorsen on Red Bull, Mike Leach, and the Big 12's Playoff Problem

The Chiefs are legit, and Andy Reid bundled up in the cold is the gift that keeps on giving. Big Cat and PFT reacted to Thursday Night Football, where the Raiders looked like they didn't belong in the cold and Jack Del Rio's gambling habits finally caught up to him.

Void
Dec 9, 2016
#22551
Big CatBig Cat

Jack Del Rio is like a gambler on a heater who just lost all his money

Jack Del Rio, he's your friend who got on a heater and was like, no, no, no, don't worry, guys. I'm still up. I'm still up. And then you look and he's lost all his money.

Subjective analogy of coaching style.

PFT has seen enough from Derek Carr to know he isn't built for December football in Kansas City.

Win
Dec 9, 2016
#1336
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Derek Carr is a soft Cali boy who chokes in the cold

Derek Carr, not [a cold-weather quarterback]. No, in fact, he's a cold-weather choker. He played, what, at Fresno State? Cali boy. Soft. Can't trust the soft Cali boys.

Carr famously struggled in cold weather games throughout his career, often having significantly lower passer ratings in sub-40 degree games.

Dana Holgorsen Joins the Show

West Virginia Head Coach Dana Holgorsen joined the show to discuss his recent contract extension and the state of the Big 12. He didn't hold back on why the conference has struggled to get respect from the playoff committee, noting that the lack of a 13th game has been a massive hurdle.

Win
Dec 9, 2016
#22552
Dana HolgorsenDana Holgorsen

The Big 12 needs a championship game to avoid being shunned by the playoff committee

The 13th game. That's important. ... if [Oklahoma] could have won their last nine games and then played in a championship game, another high-profile game, I think matters. Those guys that play 13 games and they get hot, they have an opportunity to be able to move up. And the Big 12 has fixed that. So next year at this time we'll be playing a championship game.

The Big 12 did indeed reinstate their championship game in 2017 to help their playoff chances.

Dana also touched on his former quarterbacks, specifically Brandon Weeden, and how his NFL trajectory might have looked different if he hadn't ended up in the Cleveland quarterback graveyard.

Void
Dec 9, 2016
#22553
Dana HolgorsenDana Holgorsen

Brandon Weeden's NFL career was ruined by being drafted by the Browns

Brandon Weeden's pretty much the same way. ... fortunately he got drafted by the Browns. That'll do it to your career. It didn't quite work out.

Widely accepted sentiment that the mid-2010s Browns were a graveyard for QBs.

The conversation got into the lifestyle of a high-level coach, including the toll media criticism takes on families rather than the coaches themselves.

Void
Dec 9, 2016
#22554
Dana HolgorsenDana Holgorsen

Coaches and players can block out media criticism, but it deeply affects their families

Coaches and players, they can block that stuff out pretty easy. Family members, that's a little tougher. ... It doesn't affect Skyler [Howard]. It affects his family. It affects his mom. It affects his brothers. It affects guys that can't go out there and do anything.

Insight into the personal lives of athletes and coaches.

Naturally, they had to ask about the Red Bull consumption. Dana admitted to drinking as many as 12 in a single day, though he claims he's a "fitness guy" because he sticks to the sugar-free cans. He also shared some incredible insight into the nocturnal habits of Mike Leach, describing him as a brilliant mind who stays up all night watching documentaries.

Void
Dec 9, 2016
#22555
Dana HolgorsenDana Holgorsen

Mike Leach is a brilliant jack-of-all-trades who knows a little bit about everything

No, he's brilliant. I mean, he thinks he knows everything about everything. The truth of the matter is he knows a little bit about everything. ... He stays up all night long, watches documentary after documentary, and reads books and doesn't sleep very much.

Subjective character assessment of a legendary peer.

LeBron's Lame Trend-Chasing

LeBron James decided to flip a water bottle at Madison Square Garden during a blowout, and the guys were not fans. PFT believes the Garden is sacred ground where you don't pull stunts like that.

Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

You should never do water bottle flips at Madison Square Garden because it is the Mecca

First of all, I just want to jump in and say this is not behavior you do at the Garden. No. Respect the Garden. You can do this at any other stadium, but you don't do that at MSG. Mecca of basketball.

Matter of stadium etiquette and sports tradition.

Big Cat pointed out that LeBron has a unique ability to find a meme that everyone likes and immediately make it uncool by turning it into a manufactured "Disney" moment.

Void
Dec 9, 2016·Stay Classy
#1342
Big CatBig Cat

LeBron James makes every viral trend lame and manufactured

I just realized that this is – LeBron is Disney. He's like, if there's a meme on the internet, he's going to do it in the most Disney lame move ever. You know, like the mannequin challenge. Oh, they did the mannequin challenge at the White House. He just makes everything so fucking lame.

This is a subjective opinion on athlete branding and cultural perception.

NFL Picks and Kings Stay Kings

Week 14 is upon us, and the Browns are actually starting RG3. While Hank is delusional enough to think this leads to a victory, the rest of the guys are bracing for the inevitable injury report.

Loss
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

RG3 will dislocate his pelvis on Sunday

I'm going to go injured. I think he dislocates the pelvis. It's the big one. It's like the San Andreas quake. A lot of tremors the last few years.

RG3 did not dislocate his pelvis on that Sunday; he finished the game against the Bengals.

In the world of coaching longevity, Jeff Fisher remains the GOAT. After five years of mediocrity, he managed to pivot the blame onto specific draft picks that didn't pan out, a move Big Cat found truly majestic.

Void
Big CatBig Cat

Jeff Fisher is a king for blaming his failures on Stedman Bailey and Tre Mason

Somehow blamed the last five years of sucking on two draft picks. ... 'We've had some unfortunate things take place with some high picks in Stedman, Bailey, and Trey Mason.' ... King stay king.

Ironic commentary on a coach's excuse-making.

Finally, PFT is calling his shot on the Patriots' future roster moves. After Bill Belichick signed Griff Whalen this week, the writing is on the wall for the 2017 NFL Draft.

Loss
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Bill Belichick will draft Christian McCaffrey next year

It's reached a point where I'm going to go to Vegas and put $100 on Belichick drafting Christian McCaffrey next year. And it's going to be the easiest money that I ever made.

McCaffrey was drafted 8th overall by the Carolina Panthers in 2017; the Patriots did not draft him.

Just remember, if you put a robot in your house and it starts talking to you, don't be surprised when Jeff Bezos knows your favorite pizza topping.

nflcollege-footballwest-virginialebron-jamesjeff-fishergambling

More Takes

Void
Dec 9, 2016
#1337
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Alex Smith is better in the cold because it makes every quarterback equally shitty

Alex Smith, he's better in the cold. Well, I don't want to say he's better in the cold. It's like he's kind of shitty just in general. But when it gets cold outside, it's the great equalizer because everyone's shit.

Theoretical observation on football conditions.
Loss
Dec 9, 2016·Picks
#1338
HankHank

RG3 will bring the Browns to the promised land

I got the Browns, RG3, bringing them to promised land.

The Browns finished the 2016 season 1-15. They definitely did not reach any promised land.
Void
Dec 9, 2016
#1339
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NFL should trade coaches between the best and worst teams every year

I'd like to see at the end of every season the worst team trade coaches with the best team and see what happens the next year. Just a quick quirky little rule change.

This is a satirical rule proposal.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

The Heisman Trophy should just be awarded to the first five picks in the NFL Draft

My Mike Greenberg dumb rule, they should just make the Heisman the first five picks in the NFL draft. So instead of picking the best college player, give us the best, the guys who are going to be in the draft.

This is a hypothetical rule change proposal.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Heisman winners should be eligible for the NFL Draft regardless of age

Whoever wins the Heisman should be eligible for the draft no matter what. If they're a freshman, it's your golden ticket.

The NFL eligibility rules remained unchanged.
Void
HankHank

Great winners don't joke around or get complacent in the 4th quarter

Great winners, when they win, they don't get complacent. They want to win more. They don't joke around playing the fourth quarter. You win one championship, and all of a sudden it's all fun and games, rainbows, and ponies.

Subjective view on professional athlete decorum.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Winning a game with the Browns would be the biggest moment of RG3's career

If he won the last game of the season and the Browns were winless going into it, that is the biggest moment in RG3's career.

The Browns did win a game (Week 16 vs Chargers), though RG3 left that game with a concussion and didn't finish. Most would still rank his Rookie of the Year season or Heisman as bigger moments.
Win
Dec 9, 2016·Media
#1345
Big CatBig Cat

Dan Haren is a genius for joining the Diamondbacks because their pitching can't get worse

Smart move for him to join that team because basically he can just go and fart and be like, oh, they're better. 30th ranked team. So basically, they can't get worse. He can just go pick his nose, fart, listen to Pardon My Take, and they'll, by just the law of averages, get a little bit better.

The Diamondbacks' team ERA improved from 5.09 (last in MLB) in 2016 to 3.66 (3rd in MLB) in 2017, proving Big Cat's 'they can't get worse' theory correct in spectacular fashion.
Void
Dec 9, 2016·PR 101
#22558
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The only way to get a minor celebrity to show up to your event is to give them an award

Here's a free trick. If you ever want a minor celebrity to show up at something that you're doing, just give them an award. And be like, hey, we're giving you an award.

Observation of how the PR and awards industry functions.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Bill Belichick signs white receivers just to confuse Chris Collinsworth

I think that he just signs white receivers and running backs just to confuse Chris Collinsworth. So the announcers have to take another 15 seconds after they get a first down or touchdown to just make sure that they get the guy's name right.

This is a humorous conspiracy theory.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The only socially acceptable times for men to cry are at the end of Hoosiers or with a hated coworker to save your job

The only times where it's socially acceptable to cry is at the end of Hoosiers. ... And then with somebody that you hate at work when you're both trying to save your jobs.

Satirical life advice.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Philadelphia fans have lost their edge and gotten soft

I feel like Philly's lost its edge recently. Philly has definitely lost its edge. Yeah, Philly, you guys haven't booed anyone who's hurt their spine recently? Philly's been eating shit and you guys haven't been doing anything... I think Philly's gotten soft. Lost its edge.

This is a subjective assessment of a fanbase's 'vibe.'
Push
Dec 9, 2016·Stay Woke
#1349
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Jeff Bezos is using Alexa to listen to every conversation in your house

Stay woke on this. Jeff Bezos just told everybody that he's listening to every conversation that you have in your house and keeping track of it.

Reports later emerged that Amazon employees did listen to voice recordings to improve the AI, though the 'listening to every conversation' framing is an exaggeration.
Void
Dec 9, 2016·Stay Woke
#22561
Big CatBig Cat

You shouldn't complain about robots spying on you if you willingly put an Alexa in your house

I don't feel bad for anyone out there who willingly puts a robot in their living room and then complains when the robots start to take over. ... Don't fucking put a robot that can talk in your house. Once the robots get feelings, then we're all fucked.

Subjective stance on technology and privacy.

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