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Big CatBig Cat

Dan Haren is a genius for joining the Diamondbacks because their pitching can't get worse

Smart move for him to join that team because basically he can just go and fart and be like, oh, they're better. 30th ranked team. So basically, they can't get worse. He can just go pick his nose, fart, listen to Pardon My Take, and they'll, by just the law of averages, get a little bit better.

The Diamondbacks' team ERA improved from 5.09 (last in MLB) in 2016 to 3.66 (3rd in MLB) in 2017, proving Big Cat's 'they can't get worse' theory correct in spectacular fashion.

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Void
Dec 9, 2016
#22551
Big CatBig Cat

Jack Del Rio is like a gambler on a heater who just lost all his money

Jack Del Rio, he's your friend who got on a heater and was like, no, no, no, don't worry, guys. I'm still up. I'm still up. And then you look and he's lost all his money.

Subjective analogy of coaching style.
Win
Dec 9, 2016
#1336
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Derek Carr is a soft Cali boy who chokes in the cold

Derek Carr, not [a cold-weather quarterback]. No, in fact, he's a cold-weather choker. He played, what, at Fresno State? Cali boy. Soft. Can't trust the soft Cali boys.

Carr famously struggled in cold weather games throughout his career, often having significantly lower passer ratings in sub-40 degree games.
Void
Dec 9, 2016
#1337
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Alex Smith is better in the cold because it makes every quarterback equally shitty

Alex Smith, he's better in the cold. Well, I don't want to say he's better in the cold. It's like he's kind of shitty just in general. But when it gets cold outside, it's the great equalizer because everyone's shit.

Theoretical observation on football conditions.

More from Big Cat

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Void
Big CatBig Cat

The Brewers' pressure created their 'lucky' breaks

That's not luck. That's just the Brewers and what they did to you mentally, where it's like you have to be perfect and almost made teams just become a worse version of themselves because of what the Brewers were doing to them.

This is an evaluative baseball argument rather than a claim with one definitive result.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

The Bears are building around Jeffrey Simmons correctly

Jeffrey Simmons is an absolute game wrecker. Top three at his position, changes everyone around him. The Bears had a weakness in their defense, especially run defense. They made it a strength.

The assessment of Simmons' impact and positional ranking is partly subjective and will depend on his Chicago performance.
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Big CatBig Cat

Jeffrey Simmons makes the Bears Super Bowl contenders

I thought they could win the Super Bowl before Jeffrey Simmons. Now I really do.

The 2026 NFL season and Super Bowl outcome have not yet been resolved from the episode date.