Dan Haren is a genius for joining the Diamondbacks because their pitching can't get worse
Smart move for him to join that team because basically he can just go and fart and be like, oh, they're better. 30th ranked team. So basically, they can't get worse. He can just go pick his nose, fart, listen to Pardon My Take, and they'll, by just the law of averages, get a little bit better.
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View episodeJack Del Rio is like a gambler on a heater who just lost all his money
Jack Del Rio, he's your friend who got on a heater and was like, no, no, no, don't worry, guys. I'm still up. I'm still up. And then you look and he's lost all his money.
Derek Carr is a soft Cali boy who chokes in the cold
Derek Carr, not [a cold-weather quarterback]. No, in fact, he's a cold-weather choker. He played, what, at Fresno State? Cali boy. Soft. Can't trust the soft Cali boys.
Alex Smith is better in the cold because it makes every quarterback equally shitty
Alex Smith, he's better in the cold. Well, I don't want to say he's better in the cold. It's like he's kind of shitty just in general. But when it gets cold outside, it's the great equalizer because everyone's shit.
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That's not luck. That's just the Brewers and what they did to you mentally, where it's like you have to be perfect and almost made teams just become a worse version of themselves because of what the Brewers were doing to them.
The Bears are building around Jeffrey Simmons correctly
Jeffrey Simmons is an absolute game wrecker. Top three at his position, changes everyone around him. The Bears had a weakness in their defense, especially run defense. They made it a strength.
Jeffrey Simmons makes the Bears Super Bowl contenders
I thought they could win the Super Bowl before Jeffrey Simmons. Now I really do.