Jack Del Rio is like a gambler on a heater who just lost all his money

Jack Del Rio, he's your friend who got on a heater and was like, no, no, no, don't worry, guys. I'm still up. I'm still up. And then you look and he's lost all his money.

Derek Carr is a soft Cali boy who chokes in the cold

Derek Carr, not [a cold-weather quarterback]. No, in fact, he's a cold-weather choker. He played, what, at Fresno State? Cali boy. Soft. Can't trust the soft Cali boys.

Alex Smith is better in the cold because it makes every quarterback equally shitty

Alex Smith, he's better in the cold. Well, I don't want to say he's better in the cold. It's like he's kind of shitty just in general. But when it gets cold outside, it's the great equalizer because everyone's shit.

The Colts are even less watchable than the Chargers

They are the deadest, most non-competitive football team, other than the Chargers, that I've ever seen. I think they might be worse.

The Patriots feel like a one- or two-seed

I feel like the Bills are gonna lose another game. Not against the Patriots. Lose their next game against the Patriots and then we're gonna be in the same spot. So where do you feel though overall? Like are you the two seed? One seed possibly one seed. Two. Two or one seed. Yeah. That's how it feels.

The Jets can't build a winning culture

You just can't. It's hard to build a winning culture ever. It doesn't matter what you're doing if you're the Jets.