Skip to content
PMTPMT DB

Mike Florio and Dan Haren

Monday, October 23, 201720 takes

NFL Week 7 and the Fastest 2 minutes in Football ( - ). Contenders/Pretenders and Who's Back Of The Week ( - ). Football Guy of the Week ( - ). Mike Florio joins the show to talk about all the NFL story lines including Ezekiel Elliot, Teddy Bridgewater, and his Fantasy Team ( - ). Former MLB Pitcher Dan Haren joins the show to talk about the World Series, what it's like game planning for the Dodgers and Jose Altuve, and whether or not he's a Big Baller ( - ). Segments include Locker Room Talk for Kyrie Irving, Trouble in Paradise for the Phoenix Suns, Kings Stay Kings for Vontaze Burfict and Man Card for New Orleans Saints.

Mike Florio and Dan Haren on NFL Contenders and World Series Previews

Week 7 is in the books, and we have officially entered contender-pretender season. The guys opened the show with the Fastest 2 Minutes, featuring a heavy dose of Bears optimism from Hank. After the Bears shut down Cam Newton while barely attempting a forward pass, it became clear that John Fox has finally molded this team into his image: a defensive juggernaut that treats the passing game like a forbidden technology.

Loss
HankHank

The Chicago Bears are for real

The Bears are for real. Never meant to make Cam Newton cry. See his outfit. What a real weird guy. John Fox has his team playing John Fox football, which means he takes his [team] back to a time before the forward pass existed.

The 2017 Bears finished 5-11 and were definitively not 'for real'.

The conversation shifted to the broader landscape of the league, where the injury bug has become the dominant storyline. PFT offered a generational explanation for why so many stars are landing on IR this season, pointing the finger directly at the nutrition of today's athletes.

Loss
Oct 23, 2017
#7377
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Millennials are ruining football because their brittle bones are not breastfed long enough

It's millennials that are ruining football, but with their brittle little bones, they're not breastfed until a proper age, and so they all get hurt.

This is a satirical health claim that is biologically absurd.

When it came time to sort through the pretenders, Big Cat didn't hesitate to toss the defending NFC champions into the scrap heap. Despite a decent start to the year, the Falcons look mentally broken, and the guys aren't buying any talk of a Super Bowl loss being a positive thing.

Push
Oct 23, 2017
#7378
Big CatBig Cat

The Atlanta Falcons are officially pretenders

The Falcons are pretenders. They are officially in the pretenders pile. You know what's great, too, is I think they started like 2-0 and everyone was like, see, told you, the Falcons do not have a Super Bowl hangover. Now you see them. They are mentally just broken.

The Falcons actually went 10-6 and won a playoff game in 2017, proving they weren't total pretenders, though they didn't reach the Super Bowl again.
Loss
Oct 23, 2017
#7379
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Losing the Super Bowl is better than winning because you avoid the Super Bowl winner hangover

You know what my favorite take of the week might have been? It was one of the Boston sports guys. They said that it's almost better to lose the Super Bowl because you don't get a Super Bowl hangover if you lose it. And so it didn't really work out that way this weekend.

Statistically, losing a Super Bowl often leads to a worse following season (the 'Super Bowl Loser's Curse') than winning it.

Mike Florio joined the show to provide some actual insight into the chaos. He touched on the revolving door of quarterbacks in Cleveland and the uncertain future of Hue Jackson. Florio noted that while Jackson has the pedigree of a great coordinator, the transition to the big chair has been less than smooth.

Win
Oct 23, 2017
#7381
Mike FlorioMike Florio

Hue Jackson is this generation's Norv Turner or Wade Phillips

I think with [Hue] Jackson, it's just a matter of time at this point. He strikes me as this generation's Norv Turner or Wade Phillips, who is very good as a coordinator, good enough to keep getting head coaching jobs, but bad enough as a head coach to not hold those jobs.

Hue Jackson finished his Browns tenure 3-36-1, widely considered one of the worst head coaching stints ever, confirming Florio's 'good coordinator, bad head coach' assessment.

The quarterback news didn't stop in Cleveland. With Aaron Rodgers sidelined and the Vikings dealing with a messy situation under center, Florio made a bold call on who will actually see more playing time for the remainder of the calendar year.

Loss
Oct 23, 2017
#7382
Mike FlorioMike Florio

Teddy Bridgewater will start more games than Aaron Rodgers for the rest of 2017

Which quarterback starts more games from here on forward in 2017, Aaron Rodgers or Teddy Bridgewater? Teddy Bridgewater. He's ready to go. Week 10 is what they're looking at.

Rodgers returned for one game and Bridgewater played in one game (briefly) for the rest of the 2017 season. They both started/appeared in very little, but Rodgers actually started more games (1 to 0 for Teddy).

Florio also shared his thoughts on the potential retirement of Tom Brady, suggesting that the G.O.A.T. might prefer a quiet exit over the spectacle of a season-long goodbye. To wrap up the NFL talk, he gave his pick for the eventual Super Bowl matchup, leaning on the pedigree of the league's most consistent coaching staffs.

Push
Oct 23, 2017
#7385
Mike FlorioMike Florio

The Patriots and Seahawks will meet in the Super Bowl

Right now, if I had to pick two teams for the Super Bowl, I'd say the Patriots and the Seahawks.

The Patriots made the Super Bowl, but the Seahawks failed to make the playoffs entirely in 2017.

Former MLB pitcher and current Diamondbacks strategist Dan Haren hopped on to preview the World Series between the Dodgers and the Astros. Haren defended his friend Clayton Kershaw against the "playoff choker" narrative and went on the record with a prediction for how the Fall Classic will play out.

Loss
Oct 23, 2017
#7386
Dan HarenDan Haren

Clayton Kershaw will never 'suck' in the playoffs again

When are we going to see playoff Kershaw where he just sucks and gives up mammoth home runs and we all get to laugh on Twitter? Never.

Kershaw had several more high-profile playoff struggles after this (e.g., 2019 NLDS vs. Nationals, 2023 NLDS vs. Diamondbacks), though he did win a title in 2020.
Loss
Oct 23, 2017
#7387
Dan HarenDan Haren

The Dodgers will beat the Astros in six games

Dan Heron on the record, Dodgers in six.

The Astros won the 2017 World Series in 7 games.

In the closing segments, the guys covered Kyrie Irving’s "Philadelphia hello" to a fan, which Big Cat fully endorsed as money well spent. They also looked at the mess in Phoenix, where the firing of Earl Watson has Big Cat dreaming of a Kentucky reunion in the desert. Finally, they stood up for Vontaze Burfict’s brand of football, arguing that the league is better when there's a little bit of fear across the middle of the field.

Void
Big CatBig Cat

The NFL needs more players like Vontaze Burfict

The NFL needs more Vontaze Burfict. Not the other way around. I want to be scared going over the middle. You need a guy like that in the league at all times.

This is a subjective preference for a specific style of football play.

At least Big Cat's ass has finally stopped bleeding, so things are looking up for Wednesday.

nflmlbworld-seriesbearsfalconsbrownslakers

More Takes

Void
Oct 23, 2017
#21565
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

A shitty offense makes a defense better because they play harder out of pure anger

If you have a shitty enough offense, your defense gets a lot better because they're so fucking mad at your offense. [It's] just being so angry at how incompetent your offense is that you actually end up playing harder just because you're furious all the time.

This is a subjective theory on team dynamics that cannot be objectively proven or disproven.
Void
Oct 23, 2017
#21566
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

All men will become hobos within a week if they lose access to hygiene products

Left to your own devices, all men will become hobos within like a week of having no access to hygiene products.

Subjective observation about male behavior and social norms.
Void
Oct 23, 2017·Who's Back
#7380
Big CatBig Cat

College football is more fun when Notre Dame is good

Notre Dame is back. And it's going to be fun. It's going to be fun to watch Notre Dame get their hopes all the way up. College football is significantly more fun when Notre Dame is back.

Notre Dame's status as a 'back' team is subjective, and their impact on viewership/fun is also a matter of opinion.
Void
Oct 23, 2017·Who's Back
#21567
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Ass-eating season is 100% back

I said that it was toe-sucking season, but I'm retracting that. Ass-eating season is 100% back. Gabby Union said that she eats Dwayne Wade's ass.

This is a subjective claim about cultural/sexual trends.
Win
Oct 23, 2017
#7383
Mike FlorioMike Florio

Sam Bradford will never play for the Vikings again

I don't think [Sam Bradford] is ever going to play again for the Vikings. I think it's Bridgewater when they think that there's an opening to put Keenum down and put Bridgewater in.

Bradford only appeared in two games in 2017 and never played for the Vikings again after that season, moving to the Cardinals in 2018.
Loss
Oct 23, 2017
#7384
Mike FlorioMike Florio

Ezekiel Elliott has a chance to beat his suspension entirely

There's a chance [Ezekiel] Elliott beats this whole thing, not just this year, but this year, next year, and for good. Right now, it actually looks good for him to get an injunction that would allow him to play all season.

Elliott eventually lost his legal battle and served his full 6-game suspension starting in November 2017.
Push
Oct 23, 2017
#21568
Mike FlorioMike Florio

Tom Brady will retire suddenly to avoid having a farewell tour

Brady keeps saying that he's going to play four or five years so that he can then just retire all of a sudden? Yeah, he doesn't want to have a farewell tour. If [the Patriots] win another Super Bowl... is it going to shock anybody if he walks away?

Brady did eventually retire (twice), but his final exit in 2023 was relatively sudden, though he did not retire immediately after his next Super Bowl win (2018 or 2020).
Push
Oct 23, 2017
#7388
Dan HarenDan Haren

Lonzo Ball will have 24 points, 8 rebounds, and 6 assists tonight

I'm going to go ahead and say Lonzo Ball tonight, 24 points. Eight rebounds, six assists.

In the game on Oct 22, 2017 against the Pelicans, Lonzo Ball had 13 points, 8 rebounds, and 13 assists. He got the rebounds exactly right but missed the points and assists.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Kyrie Irving telling a fan to 'suck my dick' was worth the $25,000 fine

Kyrie got fined 25,000 that's not that much totally worth it to say suck my dick to fan yes absolutely yeah... Saying suck my dick in Philly is like the nicest thing you can do. That's the Philadelphia hello.

Whether it was 'worth it' is entirely subjective to Kyrie's bank account and personal satisfaction.
Loss
Big CatBig Cat

John Calipari will be the next coach of the Phoenix Suns

Now that they fired their coach and there's trouble in paradise, you think of what I'm thinking? Coach Cal. Brandon Knight, Eric Bledsoe, Devin Booker, Tyler Ulis... All went to Kentucky.

Calipari stayed at Kentucky until 2024; he never coached the Suns.

PMTDB Comments

This generates your username. Same passphrase = same name. Make it unique and memorable!

Search

Search takes, episodes, and speakers