The Chicago Bears are for real

The Bears are for real. Never meant to make Cam Newton cry. See his outfit. What a real weird guy. John Fox has his team playing John Fox football, which means he takes his [team] back to a time before the forward pass existed.

Millennials are ruining football because their brittle bones are not breastfed long enough

It's millennials that are ruining football, but with their brittle little bones, they're not breastfed until a proper age, and so they all get hurt.

The Atlanta Falcons are officially pretenders

The Falcons are pretenders. They are officially in the pretenders pile. You know what's great, too, is I think they started like 2-0 and everyone was like, see, told you, the Falcons do not have a Super Bowl hangover. Now you see them. They are mentally just broken.

The Vikings officially have a Kyler Murray problem

I think we can officially say they have a Kyler Murray problem. Justin Jefferson has reached his point where he's like, 'What the fuck is going on?' So that would be my point. Maybe there's a Kyler Murray issue.

The Vikings should trade for Kirk Cousins

What if I told you the Vikings could trade for a quarterback that has 18 touchdown passes and a rushing touchdown? Would that be something you think you'd be interested in if you were a Minnesota Viking fan? Kirk Cousins.

Jalen Warren is a top-five running back

Jalen Warren is the top five running back this year. And it's like watching him play, that changes what I think about the Steelers.