The Chicago Bears are for real

The Bears are for real. Never meant to make Cam Newton cry. See his outfit. What a real weird guy. John Fox has his team playing John Fox football, which means he takes his [team] back to a time before the forward pass existed.

Millennials are ruining football because their brittle bones are not breastfed long enough

It's millennials that are ruining football, but with their brittle little bones, they're not breastfed until a proper age, and so they all get hurt.

The Atlanta Falcons are officially pretenders

The Falcons are pretenders. They are officially in the pretenders pile. You know what's great, too, is I think they started like 2-0 and everyone was like, see, told you, the Falcons do not have a Super Bowl hangover. Now you see them. They are mentally just broken.

France is unstoppable in the 2026 World Cup

When we first got the bracket, I said I was gonna go chalk and just bet on France. They just seem like there's nothing that you can do to stop him. France looks unstoppable.

The toxicity towards Christian Pulisic proves America is finally a real soccer country

I think with the amount of vitriol that has gone towards Christian Pulisic, we have shown for the first time we might be a real soccer country because that actually, it's nuts how he's gotten bashed by everyone. The fact that it's gotten so toxic towards this one guy, it's like, oh shit. Maybe we could become a country that people cared that much about it.

LeBron James is returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers for the third time

Pardon My Take... July 10th. We are the first to report that LeBron James is going back to Cleveland... LeBron James is a Cleveland Cavalier yet again for the third time in his career.