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Loss
HankHank

The Chicago Bears are for real

The Bears are for real. Never meant to make Cam Newton cry. See his outfit. What a real weird guy. John Fox has his team playing John Fox football, which means he takes his [team] back to a time before the forward pass existed.

The 2017 Bears finished 5-11 and were definitively not 'for real'.

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Loss
Oct 23, 2017
#7377
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Millennials are ruining football because their brittle bones are not breastfed long enough

It's millennials that are ruining football, but with their brittle little bones, they're not breastfed until a proper age, and so they all get hurt.

This is a satirical health claim that is biologically absurd.
Push
Oct 23, 2017
#7378
Big CatBig Cat

The Atlanta Falcons are officially pretenders

The Falcons are pretenders. They are officially in the pretenders pile. You know what's great, too, is I think they started like 2-0 and everyone was like, see, told you, the Falcons do not have a Super Bowl hangover. Now you see them. They are mentally just broken.

The Falcons actually went 10-6 and won a playoff game in 2017, proving they weren't total pretenders, though they didn't reach the Super Bowl again.
Loss
Oct 23, 2017
#7379
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Losing the Super Bowl is better than winning because you avoid the Super Bowl winner hangover

You know what my favorite take of the week might have been? It was one of the Boston sports guys. They said that it's almost better to lose the Super Bowl because you don't get a Super Bowl hangover if you lose it. And so it didn't really work out that way this weekend.

Statistically, losing a Super Bowl often leads to a worse following season (the 'Super Bowl Loser's Curse') than winning it.

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HankHank

This is the Knicks' championship to lose

This series is over. Right. And the Spurs Thunder series looks like it's going at least six, probably seven. Like it looks like an absolute battle. Yeah. So that's good for them. The Spurs all things, I mean, this is, this is the Knicks championship to lose.

The Knicks are currently in the second round/Conference finals (implied), so they haven't won the championship yet.
Void
HankHank

My official stance on the Toucher & Rich radio beef is simply 'fuck 'em'

I'm not leading this battle. They took a shot. I said fuck him. And that's where I stand... Official stance. So you guys can just fuck him.

Subjective personal stance.
Loss
HankHank

I did not fart during the Kellen Moore interview; it was just air that fell out of my body

The sound did come out of me, my body. But it was not a conscious fart... Most farts air coming out of your asshole, max, most farts max have to push. Like most farts, you're like, this one fell out... I was not like, consciously like, oh, I got a fart. But when I lifted up my leg, I, I guess I had like gas down there... A dude came out of my ass. That was so loud.

It was definitively a fart.