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HankHank

The Chicago Bears are for real

The Bears are for real. Never meant to make Cam Newton cry. See his outfit. What a real weird guy. John Fox has his team playing John Fox football, which means he takes his [team] back to a time before the forward pass existed.

The 2017 Bears finished 5-11 and were definitively not 'for real'.

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Loss
Oct 23, 2017
#7377
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Millennials are ruining football because their brittle bones are not breastfed long enough

It's millennials that are ruining football, but with their brittle little bones, they're not breastfed until a proper age, and so they all get hurt.

This is a satirical health claim that is biologically absurd.
Push
Oct 23, 2017
#7378
Big CatBig Cat

The Atlanta Falcons are officially pretenders

The Falcons are pretenders. They are officially in the pretenders pile. You know what's great, too, is I think they started like 2-0 and everyone was like, see, told you, the Falcons do not have a Super Bowl hangover. Now you see them. They are mentally just broken.

The Falcons actually went 10-6 and won a playoff game in 2017, proving they weren't total pretenders, though they didn't reach the Super Bowl again.
Loss
Oct 23, 2017
#7379
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Losing the Super Bowl is better than winning because you avoid the Super Bowl winner hangover

You know what my favorite take of the week might have been? It was one of the Boston sports guys. They said that it's almost better to lose the Super Bowl because you don't get a Super Bowl hangover if you lose it. And so it didn't really work out that way this weekend.

Statistically, losing a Super Bowl often leads to a worse following season (the 'Super Bowl Loser's Curse') than winning it.

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HankHank

The Patriots will three-peat by beating the Rams

Super Bowl threepeat: Patriots versus Rams. Patriots win again. ... By week 12, week 13, much to the chagrin of the world and especially this podcast, the Patriots will ... once again be a powerhouse.

The 2026 Super Bowl and Patriots season outcome have not occurred as of the episode date.
Open
HankHank

Drake May will win MVP

I have Drake May as MVP.

The 2026 NFL MVP has not been awarded as of the episode date.
Void
HankHank

The DMV is the worst line to wait in

DMV. Great pick. That's gotta be one one. Gotta be because it goes out of order too. Yeah. That bullshit. It is. Pick number sucks.

Subjective opinion on waiting in line.