The Chicago Bears are for real

The Bears are for real. Never meant to make Cam Newton cry. See his outfit. What a real weird guy. John Fox has his team playing John Fox football, which means he takes his [team] back to a time before the forward pass existed.

Millennials are ruining football because their brittle bones are not breastfed long enough

It's millennials that are ruining football, but with their brittle little bones, they're not breastfed until a proper age, and so they all get hurt.

The Atlanta Falcons are officially pretenders

The Falcons are pretenders. They are officially in the pretenders pile. You know what's great, too, is I think they started like 2-0 and everyone was like, see, told you, the Falcons do not have a Super Bowl hangover. Now you see them. They are mentally just broken.

American sports dominance is officially over

Are we as a country washed? because this also is on the heels of shams announcing SGA back to back MVP and I think it's been like nine years, I believe eight years since an American has won the NBA MVP... and Aaron Rai, it's the second European to win a major this year and Europeans are now two and oh in majors for the first time since 1934.

The Steelers will be stuck with a 7-10 win ceiling with Aaron Rodgers

Aaron Rodgers is back. I feel bad for Steelers fans... he's not the same quarterback... the Steelers just put a finite floor and ceiling on their season. Right? And it's somewhere between seven and 10 wins. That's what we're thinking.

The Chicago White Sox are no longer a joke and could win the AL Central

White Sox are good. They're actually like, this is finally like, it's kind of, they're not a joke. They've got some sluggers. Big time dude... I don't know what the price is for them winning the AL Central, but they, they, they are not a bad team.