Takes

The Redskins are trash

I got the Vikings. I have the Ravens. I think the Redskins are trash. Trash. Our words.

The Bears will cover +4.5 against the Colts because Indianapolis is jet-lagged after playing in London

I have the Bears. Plus four and a half... the Colts is not a bad choice... They're jet lagged. Yeah. Exactly. First team ever to go to London and not elect to have a bye week after.

Andrew Luck gets a pass for mistakes because the Colts' offensive line is atrocious.

I'm done making fun of Andrew Luck. That's the worst offensive line I've ever seen. He was running for his life the entire time. I'm actually going to give him an active pass and let him know that it's okay. You can fuck up because that offensive line is atrocious.

The Rams will beat the Seahawks this week

I think [Jeff Fisher] is going to beat the Seahawks this week.

I'm picking the Browns to cover this week because Hugh Jackson made them throw paper in the trash

I'm going to officially change my 49ers pick. I'm going to switch that to the Browns. [Hugh Jackson] having everybody throw their paper in the trash... to me, that's a bro sweet moment.

My Week 1 NFL Lock is the Jaguars +5.5 at home against the Packers

This is my stone cold lock of the week. I've got the Jaguars at home, jagging off big time, plus five and a half against the Packers.

The Bears will win outright against the Texans in Week 1

Bears are going to win outright. Just a heads up, everyone.