PMT DB
PMT DB
Blake Bortles on Whole Milk and Stingray Steve's SEC Preview
The Buffalo Bills are already in crisis mode after Ryan Fitzpatrick carved them up on Thursday night. While Bills Mafia is reaching for the panic button, Big Cat and PFT Commenter are more focused on the coaching staff. Rex Ryan is officially on the hot seat, but the guys pointed out the injustice of Jeff Fisher somehow securing a three-year extension despite his legendary commitment to being aggressively average.
PFT CommenterJeff Fisher's blueprint for job security is to ingrain yourself in every small facet of the company
Jeff Fisher gives everybody in corporate America a great blueprint for how to keep your job. You just – you ingrain yourself into every small facet of your company. It doesn't matter if you're doing your job well... If you just spread yourself out far enough into an organization, you're never going to get fired.
Big Cat thinks the only reason Fisher stays employed is that he’s reached the final form of looking like a guy who belongs on a sideline regardless of the score.
Big CatJeff Fisher only keeps his job because he looks like a 'football guy'
Jeff Fisher is the reason why people judge books by their cover. Because Jeff Fisher looks like a football guy. He's got that look. He's got the mustache. He's got that angry... look on his face. So you look at him and you're like, how could we fire this guy?
Blake Bortles Wikipedia Club
Blake Bortles returned for his monthly residency in the Wikipedia Club to discuss toilet paper orientation and cider donuts. The conversation quickly shifted from the logistics of the bathroom to Blake's personal habits, leading to a shocking revelation about how the Jaguars' franchise quarterback handles his business.
Blake BortlesI am a stand-up wiper
I'm gonna say I'm a big stander and I was kind of like scarred because when I was like 10 or 11... I went to wipe and just dunked my hand like right in the bowl with like the shit and water in there so from then on out I just I'm standing.
Big Cat was horrified by the logistics, immediately diagnosing Blake with a condition that apparently plagues all stand-up wipers.
Big CatPeople who stand and wipe have 'poop in their butt' for life
People who stand and wipe, they do not get a clean wipe, and they end up walking around their entire life with poop in their butt.
After clearing up the bathroom talk, the club moved on to cider donuts and the concept of "fall," which Blake has apparently never experienced living in Florida. This led to a deep dive into dairy preferences, where Blake admitted he is still a ride-or-die guy for the red-capped gallon.
Blake BortlesI've been a whole milk drinker my entire life
I've drank whole milk my whole life and like still... I just thought everybody drank whole milk. Um, because that's what my mom and it was always like, yeah, it'll make your bones really strong.
Stingray Steve’s Call of the Week
Stingray Steve joined the show to preview the SEC slate, specifically the massive Alabama vs. Ole Miss matchup. While the world is watching Nick Saban's temper, Stingray is looking at the X's and O's.
Stingray SteveAlabama will beat Ole Miss because their defense isn't good
I'm going Alabama. I think they get it done. Yeah. I'm not sold on the Ole Miss defense at all.
Steve also delivered an all-time performance with his Week 2 call of the week, recreating the Central Michigan lateral upset over Oklahoma State. The energy was so high that PFT Commenter almost let an "I love you" slip at the end of the segment, though it went unreturned.
Stay Woke and Jimbos
In a special investigative reporting segment, Hank brought some heat regarding the "Send Beer Money" kid from College GameDay. After some elite detective work involving Facebook profile pictures of kangaroos, Hank is convinced the whole thing was a setup.
HankThe 'Send Beer Money' Venmo kid on College GameDay is a fake viral ad
No, you don't do that. Seemed a little fishy... Nowhere to be found. No one can find Sam Crowder... It's a fake. It's a viral ad.
Finally, the guys got into Jimbos of the week, featuring a listener who shit in their own boxers to cover up a mid-drive masturbation session and Big Cat’s stance on the most trendy fruit in America.
Big CatAvocados are overrated; guacamole is great but solo avocados are trash
I just want to take this moment to say avocados are overrated as fuck... Guacamole, great. Avocados on their own, trash.
If you're looking for the Sam Crowder Venmo money, you're probably better off looking in the pockets of a German bratwurst company.
