Takes

Patrick Mahomes will eventually catch Tom Brady in Super Bowl losses

People keep talking about Patrick Mahomes is gonna catch up to Brady. Right? That's the storyline. Well in my eyes he's going—the only thing that he's going to catch up to Brady on is Super Bowl losses. He would lose this one and would still need to lose another one. But if he did, then he would catch up to Tom Brady in losses.

The NFL is rigged and scripted to get Patrick Mahomes in the Super Bowl

The NFL is rigged, rigged. It's rigged for ratings or for money. ... This shit is fucking rigged. The NFL is rigged. I don't, it's scripted everything. They get a script at the start of every season and then Hollywood kicks them out because no one would believe the script. ... They want Patrick Mahomes in the Super Bowl.

Kirk Cousins has had a better NFL career than Tony Romo

I had a take last week that Kirk Cousins has had a better NFL career than Tony Romo did. ... I would rather have Kirk Cousins as the quarterback of my team for his whole career than Tony Romo. That's a fact.

The Eagles will win Super Bowl 57

Early thoughts. I'm not gonna hedge. I think the Eagles are gonna win this Super Bowl. The, I really do.

The Eagles roster is better than the Chiefs at every position except quarterback and tight end

The Eagles are probably better than the Chiefs at every position group other than quarterback. Tight end, tight end quarterback and tight end. Yeah. But blind offensive defensive line. I'm taking, I'm taking the birds receiver room, birds running game birds secondary, secondary birds. Like the eagles have the better roster.

Mike McCarthy taking over play-calling is the beginning of the end for his time in Dallas

Mike McCarthy is saying that he's going to now take on play calling rules. So this is awesome. ... It's also just, it's the beginning of the end. And if it's because when you get this job, they're basically saying, now you have to fucking do this. Yes. And you're gonna, so it's, it is shuffling the, the deck chairs on the Titanic.

If you are taking an underdog in the playoffs, you should bet them straight up

Spreads don't really matter in the playoffs. They don't. That's what we've realized. If you're gonna take an underdog, take 'em straight up.

Brock Purdy winning seven Super Bowls would erase Tom Brady's legacy

I'm rooting for Brock [Purdy] in the Niners because Brock has a chance to totally erase Tom Brady's narrative and legacy if he wins a Super Bowl... If he wins seven, he would have a better [story]. He was drafted Mr. Irrelevant. He would totally erase Tom Brady's underdog story because it's an even bigger underdog story.

The Eagles will beat the 49ers by three touchdowns

I'm betting on the Eagles. The Eagles are gonna win this game by three touchdowns. Rock Purdy is gonna have a Joe Flacco rookie quarterback stat line. Stop the run, score early, make 'em throw, win.

Kyle Shanahan is the first overall pick if NFL head coaches were redrafted

If every coach went into a big pool and you got to redraft coaches first overall pick. I think you take Kyle Shanahan... I'm not talking about in terms of the body of work... [but] right now.

Kadarius Toney will score a touchdown against the Bengals

I think Kadarius Toney's gonna score in this game. Reid's gonna break out some weird trick play that we haven't seen before... it's gonna be like, 'Kadarius Toney, the reason why we brought you here is you're a difference maker. Go do it.'

Pete Carroll did a bad job coaching the Seahawks this year

I think that Pete Carroll, you can now look back and make the argument Pete Carroll did a bad job coaching this year because they got more talented at the quarterback position this year [with Geno Smith]. And they failed to achieve the ultimate goals of winning playoff games.

NFL teams cannot just 'flip the switch' in the playoffs

Guys are just gonna flip the switch and it never happens like that. You are what you are. And that's the honest truth with football... Belichick used to say it, 'You can't just take a fucking Gatorade before practice and turn it on.'... Teams cannot turn it on.

Bill O'Brien is a great hire for the Patriots because he understands the standard

I think it's a great move for the Patriots because [Bill O'Brien] understands the standard. He's been in the situation of being a coach in the organization... and he's also been a head coach... he single-handedly developed Deshaun Watson, made him a $250 million quarterback.

Patrick Mahomes will not be able to practice physically before the AFC Championship

I don't think he's gonna physically be able to practice. I mean, they're gonna try to get that swelling out the whole week... I sprained my ankle and it wasn't even a real bad high ankle and I was out for like four weeks.

The 49ers will beat the Eagles in the NFC Championship

I like the Niners against Philadelphia. Niners defense... the linebackers for the Niners are insane. It's gonna be a bloodbath... I'm taking the Niners. I'm taking Kyle Shanahan over Sirianni. That's why I'm taking the Niners.

The Bengals will beat the Chiefs in the AFC Championship

I'm going with Bengals and it has to do with the ankle of Patrick Mahomes. I mean, that's gonna be a tough task... that Bengals team, they got a swagger, they got a confidence. They don't have excuses.

Joe Burrow is the best quarterback at 'quarterbacking' in the NFL right now

I think Joe Burrow is the best quarterback at quarterbacking in the NFL right now. [Patrick Mahomes] is a very good quarterback who happens to be a football player. Joe Burrow is a great quarterback who just happens to play football.

I will go on an Ayahuasca trip if Aaron Rodgers becomes the quarterback of the Commanders

Let me be very clear. I will go on an Ayahuasca trip if Aaron Rodgers becomes the quarterback of the Commanders. I'll match. We'll match boys trip to Ecuador, no chicks allowed. I would change my entire mindset. I would do it.

No rookie quarterback is going to win in the Linc against the number one seed Eagles

I just can't wrap my head around any world where a rookie quarterback goes in the Link and beats the number one seed Eagles. It's a philosophy. It's a life philosophy. It doesn't change year over year. Rookie quarterbacks in the playoffs, young quarterbacks are gonna struggle.

The Dallas Cowboys are the most delusional, disgusting fan base in American history

I'm not bullshitting when I talk about Cowboy fans. I mean what I say about them. They are the most delusional, disgusting fan base in American history. It doesn't matter what happens to them. Give it 15 minutes. 'All right, we'll do it next year. We're going to win Super Bowl next year.' It's just nauseating. They don't take any time to smell their stench, which is why it's so enjoyable when they lose over and over and over again.

I looked at the evidence and it might have been a DeMar Hamlin body double at the Bills game

I don't think he's dead. But [it] was very snowy. That shot conveniently... why was he wearing goggles? He had a sheisty... I'm just saying like it was just, there was just like, I looked at the evidence. I'm just raising it so we could have the conversation.

Patrick Mahomes with only one working leg is still a top 15 NFL quarterback

I think [Patrick Mahomes] with a leg, one leg that doesn't work is still a top 15 quarterback in the NFL. Legitimately.

Patrick Mahomes will play in the AFC Championship but will be physically diminished

I would say [Patrick Mahomes] is gonna play, but he's gonna be diminished. You're not gonna get full Mahomes. It's more just being as mobile as he is behind the line of scrimmage and keeping plays alive.

The Chiefs must win a second Super Bowl soon to cement a decade of dominance

The Chiefs do have to win their second one soon because you go to five straight AFC championship games... they have to win another one to have this decade stretch. Otherwise it's like, oh, they won one. A lot of guys have won one.

Arrowhead Stadium is the craziest game day environment in the NFL

Arrowhead is the craziest game day environment I've ever been in. Especially the crowd in the stadium. When Patrick Mahomes came back on the field, it was like the second coming of Christ.

Brian Daboll's fourth-quarter punt against the Eagles was one of the saddest of the year

Brian Daboll elected to punt, down 21 points with 13 minutes left... He had one of the saddest punts of the year in the fourth quarter. Is he kind of a coward? What is happening here? Because everything he's done this year has been the right string and then he did that one thing and you're like, whoa, whoa, this is kind of fucked up.

The Philadelphia Eagles are the Super Bowl favorites

They're good team. Super Bowl favorites. If they don't win the Super Bowl, it's a huge letdown... they're my Super Bowl favorites.

The Bengals own the Kansas City Chiefs

The Bengals own the Chiefs. Three and oh is ownership. And they gotta be feeling pretty fucking good. It's tough to beat a team four times in a row.

It is fair game to criticize Josh Allen after his poor playoff performance

Anyone who wants to shit on [Josh Allen] right now, it's fair game. They were Super Bowl favorites to start the year. They had all the pieces. That was a very pitiful performance by the Bills.

If the Eagles can pressure Brock Purdy, he will throw three interceptions

If the Eagles can put pressure on [Brock Purdy], make him throw, he's throwing three picks. I could feel it.

Mike McCarthy will survive and stay as the Cowboys head coach

My gut tells me that Mike McCarthy actually survives this and he'll stick around. I don't think [Jerry Jones] is going to fire him.

Jerry Jones doesn't actually want another Super Bowl because the 'hunt' keeps him alive

I think that Jerry [Jones] doesn't want another Super Bowl because it keeps him alive. The hunt... you gotta have something to live for. If Jerry gets another title, then it's like, well, I'm out.

The Q-collar technology causes players to make bad on-field decisions

Dalton Schultz today was wearing a... Q-collar. It's supposed to help protect the brain from injury... I have a theory. This technology... it's supposed to constrict certain blood vessels going to your brain... I think these guys are just lightheaded. And it's just, he had a bird brain.

The NFL Divisional Round is the best weekend on the football calendar

The NFL divisional round, which in my estimation is the best weekend in the NFL schedule... getting a ticket to that memorable spot, like a Final Four spot, feels so huge for the team, the fan base, everything. And you get four matchups. All these games feel like they're gonna be great games, tight games.

Lane Johnson is healthy enough to lift a 325-pound man and his groin is fantastic

Lane Johnson I've heard is just, I heard that he lifted a 325-pound man off the ground today. And that his groin is just fantastic... [his] leg, thigh, groin, area is better than expected.

The Eagles are going to kill the Giants in the Divisional Round

I understand where Giants fans are coming from... I just look at the Giants in the last two months and they played incredible against Vikings, but other than that, they were kind of sputtering down the stretch. I think the Eagles are gonna kill them. This strikes me as a, I think it's gonna be a whomping.

The Bengals line against the Bills is a 'rat line' and Buffalo will destroy them

I think this is the rat line of the weekend. The Bengals plus five and a half... I think that the bills might destroy them. You know what I mean about the five and a half? Like I think the Bengals are just as good as the bills. Why is the line five and a half? It feels like everyone's gonna wake up and say, 'Hey you gotta take the Bengals.' And there's never an easy win.

The Cowboys will beat the 49ers in the Divisional Round

This is gonna be my game of the year. I'm taking the Cowboys. Cowboys my pick one line... I absolutely think the Cowboys can win this game.

Trent Williams is trying to murder opponents on every play

Trent Williams is one dude that practice stops, like other professional athletes stop what they're doing to watch him practice. And he does not give a shit if he misses a block. He's not trying to block you. He's trying to murder you. He is literally trying to shorten your neck on every play.

Russell Wilson's struggles in Denver were caused by the coaches letting him 'cook' too much

I think what we really saw more than anything else is Pete Carroll knew what his player could and couldn't do. And Pete Carroll basically put his foot down... I almost feel like there was a humiliation process that went on during the course of the season where Russell actually had to come to grips with the fact that I'm not quite ready for prime time when it comes to that. I think we took the restrictors off a little bit and let him cook too much. The engine blew up. Burned the house down.

Head coaches must utilize 'butt pucker' fear to be successful

Fear is an important aspect of being a head coach... you need fear. Like you need literally butt pucker type fear that if you don't get your job done, you will get cut, you will get benched, you will get punished. And it's not only for the players, probably more importantly your coaching staff needs to have fear. If I don't get my guys coached up, if my guys don't perform, I'll lose my job.

I was wrong about Dak Prescott; he was sensational against the Buccaneers

I would like to formally apologize to one Dakota Prescott, because I was wrong. He was sensational on Monday night... He was absolutely shut the haters up. I include myself in that camp. I was very wrong.

Tom Brady is done with the Buccaneers

I do think that he's probably not retired. The comments that he was making after the game felt like I'm done with The Buccaneers.

Tom Brady is now gun-shy in the pocket and bails on throws early

[Tom Brady's] legs and his and his his want to, to stand in the pocket have completely eroded. I think that's part of his bra. I guess it's his spine. Yeah. His spine's not okay, because he's been hit so much this year that he is gun shy and it's gotten to the point where you feel bad for him in the pocket when he sees somebody coming.

The Cowboys are winning the Super Bowl

The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl... I think they're gonna win the Super Bowl. It was not personal. Between me and Tom.

Brock Purdy will get exposed against the Cowboys

Brock Purdy's gonna go get exposed. I'm not a ball knower. I'll probably get more into the, the x's and nos on Thursday. But just make, make him throw deep... Brock Purdy's gonna get exposed this weekend. Throw five picks.

I would rather have Tom Brady than Aaron Rodgers next year

I would rather take Tom Brady because Aaron Rodgers in the off season, he likes to do his ayahuasca shaman trips... if you're an NFL football player, especially an older one, you don't want perspective. Right. You want Tom Brady's complete and utter lack of any sort of perspective whatsoever... He walked away from his entire family to come back and lose in a wildcard game. He has no perspective. That's the guy that I want.

The NFL should use the chip in the football to definitively judge goal line plays

The fact that there was just casually mentioned there's a chip in the football and they can actually see if it goes over the goal line... According to the chip in the football, the closest the ball got to the end zone was 0.6 yards from the goal line. What the fuck are we doing? We've been asking for the chip forever.

Carson Wentz is a 'mental pussy'

He's a mental and he's like, wait, I can't say the word that comes after that. He's like, he's a mental pussy.