Takes

Dungeons and Dragons would be an effective team-building tool for pro sports teams

I would like to see Timm Woods go into like a professional sports locker room and run a D&D thing as a team building thing.

Amateur kid mentalists are scarier than the professional ones

There was just a kid at summer camp... last year too showed up was a high school kid and was literally guessing my pin number for my ATM account. If you can do that and other people can do that, that's almost scarier. Like they're just living among us.

Going to Disney World after winning the Super Bowl is actually a punishment

The Disney world thing that they have to do is just punishment. Sam Darnold and Kenneth Walker being in the teacups right after the game when it's like all you wanna do is party with your boys. That sucks.

The Tigers bringing back Justin Verlander is a PR move to distract from arbitration drama

This feels like PR 101 from the Tigers who have signed Justin Verlander... I feel like after it's like, hey, we didn't like the... [arbitration]... They were like, 'oh, our fans hate us. Let's bring back Verlander.'

Getting mad at the NBA All-Star Game is as boring as the game itself

I hate the All Star game a lot... It's just, I don't get mad at it though. Like, it's for kids, it's kind of fun... Why would you get mad about I wish the Allstar game were competitive... I actually think getting mad at the Allstar game is, is as boring as the game itself.

NIL has improved the quality of college basketball by keeping talented players in school longer.

I would make the counter argument for basketball specifically the fact that we have NIL and guys get paid. You have some super, super talented guys playing in college basketball now... some guys who are staying a little bit longer 'cause it's, you know, they can make more money playing college basketball.

The Bulls mistimed every single trade during their rebuild

The Bulls traded everyone when the players were at their worst value. Like they, they mistimed every single trade. And this is going back to [Alex] Caruso, [Zach] LaVine, [Nikola] Vucevic... They basically were like, Hey, what would be the smartest time to trade 'em? Let's wait a year and then trade 'em.

NFL referees are too focused on physical fitness and should spend more time in the lab

Here's my problem with refs. They've gotten too focused on physical fitness recently. We used to have one jacked ref that was Ed Hochuli. All these other guys are like, I wanna have big arms too. They need to be in the lab, not in the gym.

The Arizona Cardinals head coaching job is a bad one to take

Obviously you take a job if it's offered to you, but that seems like a not great job to take. Because it's a, well, number one, it's the Cardinals. Number two, they don't really have a plan at quarterback at all. Number three, every other coach in your division rocks.

Kwesi Adofo-Mensah was fired because Sam Darnold is playing in the Super Bowl and JJ McCarthy is not

The fact that Sam Darnold is currently playing in the Super Bowl is a problem. Correct. And the report was that the paternity leave thing happened two years ago... I think that when he does get fired, then other people around the league immediately go back to the one thing they know him for, which is this weirdo took two weeks off work.

The Jets are spreading fake rumors about Drake May because they are sad

People are making up Photoshops. They're trying to create false, false narratives. Jets fans are, are, are making up rumors that are not football related about Drake. It's nonsense. It's sad. It's absolute nonsense. It's rubbish.

Sam Darnold was never the problem during his tenure with the Jets

I said, can I just say one thing to you? There are a lot of people in New York rooting for you. Parentheses. I didn't say it. But he got it. Like, he goes, it's nice for you to say. I said, no, no, I grew up at Shea Stadium... They figured out you're not the problem.

Bill Polian's Belichick Hall of Fame snub is an all-time backfire move - he's Mount Rushmore of haters

The more I've thought about it, the more I find myself agreeing with Bill Polian. No, the more I've thought about it, the more I've realized that Bill Polian, what were you doing, dude? You just basically had the whole world. Whatever legacy you had is gone. He's Mount Rushmore of haters.

Jimmy Haslam is at the top of the asshole dumbass owners list in the NFL

Jimmy Haslam, this is the problem. It's these fucking owners, man. Your anger should be at Jimmy Haslam and Jimmy Haslam alone. When we do our list of asshole dumbass owners, he's on the top of the list.

Mike McCarthy is a very good coach who has been unfairly clowned

I think Mike McCarthy is a very good coach. I think that he's kind of been clowned upon a little bit for not winning as much as he could, especially when he was in Green Bay. But I think he's a good coach. So I'm happy for Pittsburgh. I'm glad they got a yinzer.

Bill Belichick is rooting for the Patriots to win the Super Bowl

Patriot for life. Yeah, I actually do think he's rooting for the Patriots.

The Hall of Fame needs to go back to the old 80% up-or-down voting system for each finalist

They should have forced the voters to say yes or no on Bill Belichick. And they need to go back to what's the easiest fix here. Go back to the system where the finalists each have an 80% up or down, yes or no vote like it used to be. It's fundamentally unfair.

The Hall of Fame voting should be televised

The NFL televises everything. We've made a night out of the schedule release that we already know. Let's televise this thing. Let's make the writers and the voters stand behind their words. Why not?

Conference championships should not be played at neutral sites - football is an outdoor sport that should be played in the elements

I don't like the idea of doing a neutral site. I think if you get the higher seed you should be rewarded for playing better in the regular season. The snow and the elements and the wind and the cities that the teams are based in is a good addition. If Russia had built a dome, they'd all be speaking German right now. Football is an outdoor sport. Fundamentally, it should be played in the wintertime. It should be played in the elements.

Mike Vrabel is the best situational coach in football

Vrabel I think is one of the, if not the best situational coaches in football... he knows football. He'll get down in the dirt with you. He'll block you, he'll try to run a route on you at practice.

The NFL should simplify catch rules to avoid black-and-white controversies

I think the one that should really be reviewed and the NFL should look at is the Isaiah Likely situation... a guy crosses the end zone with the ball, that's a touchdown. So why not having possession of one, two in the end zone being a touchdown? ... I think the NFL should change it for sure... where it's not black and white.

New England Patriots success is inevitable and I am done fighting against it

I am done fighting against Hank. I'm done fighting against Patriots fans. It's you, you'd have better luck rooting for the tide not to come in. You'd have better luck rooting for the sun not to rise in the east every morning. I've made the decision to just profit off of it because it's inevitable... they're just a franchise that has a horseshoe shoved up their ass and you can accept it or you can fight against the inevitable and be miserable. I'm choosing love. I'm choosing to love the Patriots from now on because Hank was right.

The Denver Broncos would have beaten the Patriots if Bo Nix had started

[Big Cat]: If Bo Nix starts that game, do you think the Broncos win? [PFT]: Yeah. [Big Cat]: Yeah. It's safe to say Bo Nix would've bojangled fried these guys.

The Seattle Seahawks have been the best team in the NFL all season

I think that if you look at the entire season, the Seahawks have been the best team in the NFL. [Big Cat]: You agree? [PFT]: Yeah. We got a great Super Bowl matchup. The best team in the NFL and the luckiest team in the NFL.

Alex Honnold is a 'fucking idiot' for his free solo climbs

He's a fucking idiot. And I hated every second of it... as a person who's terrified of heights watching him get up to those bamboo rings...stood up at the top in the wind forever. Fuck this guy. I can't watch any more of it.

Every NFL owner is essentially Jerry Jones, they just choose to stay quiet most of the time

That was one of my big takeaways that Terry Pegula is, or it's not even Terry Pegula specifically. I think that, I just forgot that every owner is actually Jerry Jones. They're just Jerry Jones that, that choose not to speak every week.

Sean McDermott deserves an apology for what he accomplished in Buffalo despite the leadership above him

Maybe we actually owe Sean McDermott a lot more credit. Yeah. Maybe we owe him an apology because we remember what it was like before he got there and what he was able to do with the bills. Nothing short of miraculous.

The Broncos' defensive struggles against Buffalo are a bigger concern than Jarrett Stidham's ability

I'm far less concerned about Jared Stidham than I am about the way our defense played against Buffalo. Our defense got run through, I mean, and I thought we got out executed out game, planned out schemed as a defense.

Aaron Rodgers is still capable of being a high-level NFL quarterback

Yeah, I mean he can still do it for sure... being around him, just seeing how he, again, how he operated, how he practiced. I mean, the guy the guy has, you know, been playing for 20 some years and still every day of practice like treating it, it's like it's a game.

Using hard golf clubs like blades is 'bullshit' and offers no real advantage over cavity backs.

I've always wondered that. Like why not just use the Easy Clubs? Is it, do you get that much more touch with the, with the blade... my theory has always just been that they don't do anything. That they make it harder to play golf.

The Texans are the AFC version of the Seahawks

The [Texans] are essentially the AFC Seahawks, in my opinion, where their defense is elite. And you essentially have to get to the point where you're like, can you see CJ Stroud or Sam Darnold playing a clean enough game that they can get all the way to the Super Bowl?

Mike Tomlin resigning was the right move for both sides

I actually think that this was the right move by Mike Tomlin. I do believe that this was his call. The Steelers are never gonna get better to a point where they're competing for Super Bowls. I think he's a really good coach. It got stale.

The Capitals are 0-5 in shootouts because their goalies catch left-handed

We're oh-five in shootouts this year. And I'm gonna strictly say that it's only because we always shoot on southpaw goalies. We don't actually get to shoot on regular goalies for the shootouts.

Miami would win the National Championship if they simply ran the ball every single play

I think that Miami could win this game if they ran the ball every single play. Their offensive line was dominant. And even when a guy would get wrapped up for a two yard gain, then you get the five huge big giant dogs on their offensive line pushing them downhill like an avalanche. You end up with a five, six yard gain on it.

The Rams, Eagles, and Seahawks are the only three dangerous teams in the NFC

I rank them order, it would be Rams, Eagles, Seahawks. ... If you want gun to my head right now, I think there's three teams in the NFC.

The Titans and Giants are the most coveted head coaching jobs available

I think the Titans might be as crazy as it sounds. I think I, I might agree... I would hire Stefanski tomorrow. I really would. I think that he's gonna be a very good head coach.

The Baltimore Ravens are now the best head coaching job opening in the NFL

John Harbaugh and the Ravens have parted ways... this is the number one job. By far... Like, not even close. That's like the most stable front office you can go to.

I no longer want Todd Bowles to coach the Tampa Bay Buccaneers

I would like Todd Bowles no longer to coach with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers anymore. Anyone else, I'm in.

Tyler Schuck played terrible and is not a guy to get excited about

I bet Tyler Schuck, who's in the Hungry Dog. Only one that lost. I thought he played terrible. I will not be—my indoctrination is over. I'm done with Tyler Schuck.

Chris Ballard shouldn't be safe as Colts GM after 9 years without a division title

Chris Ballard has been the Colts GM for I believe nine years now. He has never won the division and it's the AFC South. And it's not like the AFC South is bad, but there have been stretches where there have been bad teams and he has not found a way to win the division.

The Giants should be ashamed of winning meaningless games to ruin their draft pick

You have to be so angry at the Giants for doing this year in year out where they fucked themselves over by winning completely meaningless games for no reason. Why did you win this game today?

Jalen Brown was snubbed from Eastern Conference Player of the Month

My who's back is Jalen Brown. He was snubbed from Eastern Conference Player of the Month for December. He was statistically better than Jalen Brunson. He was vocal about it. He should have been player of the month.

I will become an 'ice bath guy' and essentially be a Navy SEAL

In addition to the zipline, I'm gonna become a, I'm gonna try to become an ice bath guy. Notice I said try to become, yeah. I'm not gonna commit myself to becoming one because I might be a pussy. But if I can do it and I become one, I'm basically a Navy SEAL. So that's what's at stake here. Pussy or a Navy SEAL.

Jayden Daniels had a good year despite his injury struggles

Jayden Daniels didn't play a bad year. He had a bad year in terms of injuries. He played in four complete games this season. Four full games, seven touchdowns, one pick, one fumble loss. He had a two and two record. 63% completion... He was not bad for the people that were saying that he was bad this year.

Brian Flores should prioritize being the highest-paid defensive coordinator over being a head coach

Brian Flores, I think he's gonna be a head coach again. It didn't go well in Miami the first time, but why wouldn't he just, he's such a good defensive coordinator. Why doesn't he just say, 'Hey, Cowboys or any team, just pay me like $5 million a year.' Isn't your life better as a defensive coordinator?

The Texans defense is the second greatest thing behind God

God is the greatest. The Texans defense is maybe second. That was from Jason Pierre-Paul. Great quote... and I don't think that he's wrong. No he is not. Because the Texans defense is that good.

Justin Herbert is the most valuable player to his team in the NFL

If you look at like, players who are most valuable players to their teams, I think [Justin Herbert] might be the most valuable player. 'Cause if you don't have Justin Herbert, the Chargers are like a four or five win team.

Every great record was unpleasant to make and involved band members hating each other

I think that every good record that I can think of was made—was unpleasant to make, you know, they all sort of hate each other. Fleetwood Mac... the White Stripes... Jack [White] couldn't get Meg to do anything... it's all kind of this struggle.

Michigan State fans should troll Michigan over Sherrone Moore's Instagram activity

Michigan State deserves and is allowed to just go after Michigan right now. I actually think you should fire back... you go Sherrone Moore. Mel Tucker. 'cause that looks like you can hang. And also do not do the Larry Nassar [jokes].

The Saints would be in the playoffs if they had started Tyler Shough in week one

If you handicap that with the Saints overall, that's pretty shucking good. If they had started Tyler Shough in from week one. Are they in the playoffs? I think they're in that division. They're playing the best football in that division right now.