Takes

Green Bay should move the Packers franchise if they need gimmicks to get fans loud

It's a sad, sad day when the Packers need to find gimmicks to be louder. [...] If you have to ask the Green Bay fans to be louder, maybe just move the whole franchise.

I use Grindr to find guys with good haircuts to ask where they get groomed

I signed up for a Grindr account on my phone and then I found the guys that I thought had the best looking haircuts and I messaged them to ask them all where they got their haircuts... It's foolproof.

We should have portable gyms in trucks so people can work out during their commute

We need to have portable gyms. So instead of your commute, you get in the back of a truck and you work out while you're commuting to your job. No one likes to commute. No one likes to go to the gym. Get them both out of the way at once.

Planes should have giant parachutes to prevent crash landings

I was watching the movie Sully... and I was just wondering, why don't planes just build parachutes so if that happens they can just parachute down and not have to worry about crash landing? Like inside the plane so it's like oh shit the engine's failed, pop parachute, safe.