PMT DBTakes
PFT CommenterAnthony Weiner being alive proves the Clintons didn't murder anyone
Anytime Anthony Weiner's Weiner pops up, which it does several times a year, that is all the proof that you need [that the Clintons didn't murder people]. Although I would really like to see Hillary Clinton try to kill somebody.
Big CatThe new NFL helmet tackling rule is going to kill football
The new helmet rule, the tackling helmet rule, is going to kill football. It's essentially every single hit in the NFL you can be like, is there going to be a flag? There should be a flag every single tackle. So we're kind of screwed.
Big CatKirk Cousins is not a franchise quarterback because he grills steaks in aluminum foil boats
He was grilling steaks on his grill, outdoor grill, with aluminum foil boats. That right there, red flag. Not a franchise quarterback. What the fuck are you doing, dude? ... It sounds like maybe he's got a dirty grill. Just scrape that shit up, Kurt.
Big CatAsparagus is poison and green vegetables are generally bad for you
Asparagus is poison. Green vegetables are poison... It's the worst vegetable. Like asparagus is disgusting. And then you eat it and your body's like, yo, dude, just a reminder what you just ate. That was really disgusting. Here's some disgusting piss.
Big CatMormon soaking is a real practice where couples stay still to avoid technically having sex
The soak is you're not allowed to have sex before you get married... You are allowed to soak. What does that mean? You just put it in. Don't move. Just lay there. You soak it. Just put it in... with no friction.
Big CatNASA is firing a rocket into the sun to distract the public from the search for aliens
NASA's come out. They're shooting a rocket into the sun. I don't really understand what's going on... NASA's trying to keep us off the aliens. That's pretty clear because if you're sitting in NASA... Find the aliens or fire a Roman candle into the sun, which we know already is really hot.