PMT DB
PMT DB
Fred Smoot, Isaac Bruce, and the XFL Draft
It is a Fri-yay and Birthday Week is officially in full swing. With Danny Woodhead kicking off the festivities and Big Cat and PFT Commenter landing the plane next week, the energy is high. However, the biggest news on the horizon isn't a birthday: Vince McMahon is officially bringing back the XFL. While the guys are skeptical about the quality of the product, they can't help but be intrigued by the chaos.
The Return of the XFL
Big Cat and PFT are already trying to manifest the league into something watchable. Big Cat is convinced that even if the football is atrocious, it will serve a higher purpose for the sport as a whole.
Big CatThe XFL will force the NFL to adapt and implement things that make the NFL better
But here's what it will do, is it's going to force the NFL to actually implement some things that make the NFL better. Because like Skycam, the XFL is going to do one or two things right, and the NFL is going to have to adapt and implement those things.
PFT has his own theories on how the league got its funding, pointing a finger at the "Shadow Commissioner" down in Dallas who might be looking to stick it to Roger Goodell.
PFT CommenterJerry Jones may have helped fund the XFL to screw over Roger Goodell
So it wouldn't shock me if Mr. Shadow Commissioner Jerry Jones maybe helped to fund the start of the NFL, gave him some of the seed money just to fuck Roger Goodell over.
To help Vince out, the guys brainstormed some "Mike Greenberg Dumb Rules" to spice things up. Big Cat wants to see a high-stakes version of the Malice at the Palace where fans actually have to put their money where their mouth is.
Big CatPlayers should be able to fight one fan per year
I would like to see them implement my longstanding idea that players should be able to fight fans. One fight a year. You get to fight any fan that mouths off to you. You get to go in there and beat their fucking ass. And if you lose that fight, you have to give your salary to the fan.
Drafting the Future of Football
The guys held an XFL Draft to build the ultimate rosters of non-NFL players. Hank went for marketing with Kendrick Perkins and Jake Paul, while PFT targeted speed and college legends. PFT made a bold prediction about the current Wyoming quarterback's longevity in the "other" league.
PFT CommenterJosh Allen will be out of the NFL by 2020
My number one overall pick in the XFL draft is Josh Allen. Quarterback Wyoming... And he won't be in the league [NFL] by 2020.
Big Cat, meanwhile, is looking for a more wide-open style of play that the NFL simply won't allow.
Big CatThe XFL should be 7-on-7 football to allow teams to air the ball out more.
I also, in a real, like, honest rule, I think they should do seven on seven. Let them just fucking air the ball out.
Fred Smoot and the Love Boat
Former NFL cornerback Fred Smoot joined the show to discuss his legendary career and, of course, the infamous Vikings Love Boat. Smoot hasn't lost any of his confidence or his gift for the gab. He talked about how he essentially invented the concept of Twitter with "SmoothSmack.com" and gave a breakdown of why today's pass-happy, contact-light league would be a dream for his playing style.
Fred SmootI would be perfect in today's NFL because of the rule changes
Oh, I would love it. It would basically fit me perfect. I was a true cover guy... when you're playing in the NFL, hitting somebody, really crushing them is a sin. So I'm perfect in this NFL. I'm going to go out here and I'm going to intercept balls and I'm going to play football.
He also gave some insight into the mental warfare of playing cornerback. While he loved trash-talking the likes of Plaxico Burress and Keyshawn Johnson, he admitted that some quarterbacks are simply unshakeable regardless of who they are throwing to.
Fred SmootAaron Rodgers is the hardest quarterback to play against regardless of his receivers
If you got Aaron Rodgers throwing to you, I don't care what the last name on the back of the receiver's jersey is, Aaron is going to put the ball in places I can't get it. He's going to throw his out routes out of bounds. He's going to throw his fade routes at the back of my head.
Isaac Bruce: Off the Record
Future Hall of Famer Isaac Bruce stopped by to talk about his time with the Greatest Show on Turf. Bruce is a big proponent of a plant-based diet for athletes, suggesting that modern players might find a fountain of youth by putting down the steaks.
Isaac BruceNFL players could successfully perform on a plant-based diet
Absolutely. I think it would really help them. I think it'll transform them back to their rookie second season, third season type feel. And, you know, we're always looking for edge. And anytime you can attain more energy, or perform at the same level as you did in the first quarter, as you do in the fourth quarter, I think guys would really benefit from it.
When the conversation turned to his Super Bowl loss against the Patriots, things got spicy. In a segment the guys call "Off the Record"—where they definitely keep recording—Bruce didn't hold back on his thoughts regarding Spygate and why a certain Patriots cornerback seemed to be playing with ESP.
Isaac BruceThe Patriots filmed the Rams Super Bowl walkthrough
Off the record. [Big Cat: Did the Patriots film your walkthrough at the Super Bowl?] Yes. I'll say yes. And I think it gave him an edge as well. I mean, you know, we were really rolling that year, and no one covered us... TMZ never came out with that tape. You never saw that tape. [But] he [Terrell Buckley] was beating us to spots and he hadn't been there that long and he was on the street.
Odds and Ends
The guys touched on the NBA All-Star draft, which the league inexplicably decided not to televise despite having the most dramatic roster of characters in pro sports. Big Cat is already calling the game a wrap based on the rosters.
Big CatTeam LeBron is much better than Team Steph for the All-Star game
Team LeBron is way better than Team Steph. Yes. Yeah, this should be a blowout. I don't understand what Steph was doing, too.
Finally, the show wrapped up with a "Just Chill Out Man" for a Kansas fan who tried to fix Udoka Azubuike's free throw form in his dorm room, and a PR 101 for Brian Windhorst after Draymond Green called him "No Neck." We also learned that Kirk Cousins might be the least alpha griller in America.
Big CatKirk Cousins is not a franchise quarterback because he grills steaks in aluminum foil boats
He was grilling steaks on his grill, outdoor grill, with aluminum foil boats. That right there, red flag. Not a franchise quarterback. What the fuck are you doing, dude? ... It sounds like maybe he's got a dirty grill. Just scrape that shit up, Kurt.
If you see a man in a boat with a steak and a roll of aluminum foil, call the police immediately.
