Takes

I am not moving to Chicago with the rest of the show

I will not be moving to Chicago. Kind of been in denial about it. It sucks to say there are various parts of my life that I keep private that impacted this decision. I hope you guys respect the decision. Please just remember that I am the only one who can weigh all the factors that impact my life.

If I get into a fight, I would be charged with murder because my hands are registered weapons

I got legal hands, I can't fight anybody. No seriously, like legally I'd get murder not manslaughter if I get into a fight with someone... because I was registered in a professional boxing match.

I will get Kevin Durant on the podcast before my 36th birthday

I will say if we don't get Kevin Durant on this podcast in our age of 35, cancel my birthday next year. I'll just stay 35 forever.

I can outkick Jay Feeley

Could PFT outkick Jay Feeley now if they were both wearing suits and reporting on the sideline and immediately got called in to start kicking field goals? Definitely. Jay Feeley's a fucking loser. He needs his two little weird gloves to be able to kick. I don't need that shit... I kicked Raw Dog. No glove, no love. I absolutely would [fuck him up]. And consider that a challenge.

Human hearts have a finite number of beats, so running is bad for you

As far as I'm concerned, your heart only has a finite amount of beats programmed into it at birth. It's like eggs in a woman. So I don't want to raise my heart rate too high because then it's not going to be around to beat when I'm past the age of 70.

I am officially running for President of the United States in 2020

I'm hereby declaring myself... I'm opening my candidacy for president of the United States of America. All I need is 125,000 individual donors. If 125,000 of you gave me $1, then I would qualify for the next debates. So I don't see why not.