Takes

Aaron Glenn is the number one coaching candidate on the market

If we sign Aaron Glenn, we got the number one guy on the market... He was the number one coaching candidate on the market.

Urban Meyer will get the Jaguars to an AFC Championship Game

I'm going to say that Urban Meyer won't be an abject failure. Now, what does that mean? I think Urban Meyer will get the Jags to an AFC championship game. I don't know if he'll last more than five years.

Urban Meyer won't last longer than three and a half years in the NFL

Urban Meyer, I don't think he'll last... longer than three years in the NFL. I think it's three and a half. Three and a half is the over-under.

The Houston Texans have been hijacked by Jack Easterby and it's a complete shit show

The Texans are being... they essentially, like... the owner got duped by a guy who's reading palms and being like, hey, here's what our future tells us. It's crazy. It's nuts. Jack Easterby is essentially making the McNair family pray with him for his own success.

The Eagles have a problem because Howie Roseman treats Carson Wentz like he won the Super Bowl

There was one line in it that was like, Howie Roseman treats Carson Wentz like he won that Super Bowl. It's like, well, that's a problem. They chose him. He essentially has just been like, yeah, Carson Wentz is the best quarterback of all time, even though he hasn't... played like six snaps in the playoffs.

The NFC North is currently a league of coaches named Matt

The next one is going to be – fuck, I wrote down the name. I think it's going to be Zach Taylor... But bonus point, if your name's Matt, because now the NFC North has three Matts as their head coaches. Three out of four Matts.

Josh McDaniels might be blackballed from NFL head coaching jobs

I think he has to sit out a couple years for what he did to the Colts, don't you? Do you think Josh McDaniels is a blackball case? Put that ahead of Colin Kaepernick.

Tennessee fans effectively coach the team by vetoing hires

Well, they kind of are letting their fans coach their team next season by letting their fans tell them who they can and can't hire.

Having a Chili's on campus helps a football program win games

This is [UCF's] first football season with an on-campus Chili's, and they're 11-0... Jimbo Fisher's record with a Chili's on campus, 78-17 with one national title. Jimbo Fisher's record without a Chili's on campus, 5-6 with zero national titles. Chili's wins football games.

College football has lost its mind if Arizona State hires Herm Edwards

College football has officially lost its mind. When Herm Edwards gets involved, college football has officially lost its mind.

Florida State is a much better program than Texas A&M

Isn't Florida State a much better football program? Why would you leave Florida State to go to A&M?