Takes

I am going to replace Hank as the person who gets killed and fucked in this Dungeons and Dragons adventure

I just know how this is gonna go. I'm just gonna replace Hank is the guy who gets killed and fucked.

The Dwarven vault is in the western portion of the mountain, and the mentions of it being in the east are a faint switch

I think this safe is in the west. It keeps, everyone keeps talking about the east, but if it was in the east and they have the key, they would find it. I feel like it's a faint switch.

The key to the vault is likely located in the chasm

Sounds like [the chasm] is maybe where the key is. ... Since I am a dwarf, I would assume my stepsister also has advantage when it comes to deception and persuasion.

The chief of the orcs probably has the key to the vault

I think the chief, the chief... the chief probably has the key. We gotta just, we gotta tell him. Hey dude, let's, there's five of us. There's one of you give us the fucking key and let's go.

The ogre likely swallowed the key to the vault

What if [Great Ulf] swallowed the key? Who swallowed the key? The the fucking guy we're trying to kill.

My character, Norm, is going to be a problem in 2030

I'm like the kid that Bleacher Report posts like this, the seventh grader, who's seven feet. And he's just dunking on a bunch of like five foot kids. Yeah. That's me right now. This kid's going to be a problem in 2030.

I am 100% going to kill Billy Football's character in Dungeons and Dragons.

Get the wizard ready just in case we decide to kill [Berserker] Billy... when I say 'just in case' we are 100% going to kill Billy Football.