Takes

I am disappointed in Big Cat's flip-flopping on being an anti-vaxxer

I'm a little disappointed in your flip-flopping with anti-vax. [...] If you're going to pick a side, you have to stick to it. [...] What kind of example are you setting for your son without succumbing to peer pressure?

Pretending you were sprayed by a skunk is the ultimate work/school excuse

Saying that you got sprayed by a skunk... if you say 'I got sprayed by a skunk,' nobody will ever question you on that. [...] Skunk it. Free advice. Anybody use it. Never be questioned.

Licorice is the best jelly bean to give to someone you hate

What are the best flavors of jelly beans to give to someone you hate? Oh, definitely licorice. Yep. You can have them all.

Laptops should be abolished

If you could change any one thing in today's world back to how it was when you were in your 20s, what would it be? I would go without laptops. Get rid of laptops. I can't figure out a laptop. I barely can figure out a phone.

The best way to move up in your grandmother's power rankings is to move in and take care of her

Move in and take care of grandma. Oh, absolutely... and she will love you and you will move right to the top of the pile.

Ladybugs are good luck and you should never eat them

Are you sure [the bug eater is] not one of you? ... He started eating ladybugs. Well, no, you don't eat ladybugs. Ladybugs are luck. They're good luck.

Doing LSD with your parents is a high-risk, low-reward proposition

If you do LSD with your parents, your ceiling is having not a bad time... Your basement, your floor is freaking out and irreparably damaging your relationship with your parents.

I like both the 49ers and the Seahawks, but if I have to pick one, it's the 49ers

Professional football teams would have to be the 49ers... and the Seahawks. [If you have to pick one?] I have to be the 49ers. I love Joe Montana. [College?] Go blue. Michigan.