PMT DB
PMT DB
Marshall Newhouse on Bills Mafia, Paul Alexander's Ketchup Test, and Paul Bissonnette
The Cleveland Browns have been selected for Hard Knocks, and the timing couldn't be more perfect. We are looking at a team coming off a 1-31 stretch over two seasons, yet they possess enough radiating energy to power a small city. Big Cat and PFT are already picturing the cinematic masterpiece of Todd Haley trying to manage Baker Mayfield’s personality.
PFT CommenterTodd Haley and Baker Mayfield on Hard Knocks will be incredible television
Todd Haley dealing with Baker Mayfield, that's going to be incredible. There's definitely going to be a scene where Todd Haley's walking Baker through the playbook, and he's like, okay, so here's our basic formation. He clicks the slide. Oh, that's a picture of my wife's tits. Sorry, I don't know how that got in there.
While the guys usually love to clown on Cleveland, Big Cat admitted he actually has a soft spot for the long-suffering franchises of the lakefront.
Big CatOutside of the Bears, the Bills and Browns are the two teams I most want to be good
I think that I mean, obviously, I want the Bears to be good again. But like after the Bears, it's like the Bills and the Browns. Those are the two teams that I would like to be good again, you know, or good period.
Warriors Boredom and "Not Worried" Caps
The NBA Playoffs are in full swing, but the energy around the Warriors-Rockets series feels bizarre. Even with Houston grabbing a win, the vibe is that Golden State is simply playing with their food. PFT and Big Cat aren't buying the Rockets' resurgence as a sign of a long series.
Big CatThe Rockets winning a game doesn't mean the series with the Warriors is competitive
The Rockets have made it a series, although I don't think it's a series... They looked so sloppy and like, we don't really care [the Warriors].
Of course, when Steph Curry has an off night, the "he must be injured" truthers come out in full force. PFT is leading the charge on the Steph injury theory, mostly because the alternative—Steph just playing poorly—is impossible to fathom.
PFT CommenterSteph Curry is definitely hurt because he's incapable of having a bad game otherwise
Oh, he's definitely hurt. Because there's no way that Steph Curry could have a bad game. No, this is Steph Curry we're talking about. He doesn't play bad. If he plays bad, it's because he's got a messed up MCL or an ankle injury.
Hank is even more dismissive of the Rockets, doubling down on his prediction that the Warriors are going to wrap this up immediately.
HankThe Warriors will sweep the Rockets in the Western Conference Finals
Yeah, the series is over. I predicted a sweep, and I stand by that.
On the hockey side of things, the Capitals are tied 2-2 with the Lightning, but don't tell PFT or Hank that things are looking shaky. They spent a significant portion of the show explaining how they are "not worried" in a way that sounds exactly like people who are very worried.
HankI am not worried about the Capitals despite the series being tied 2-2
Listen. We just wanted to say, as a team. It's our year. We're not worried. So the Capitals lost... But we didn't win. We didn't win, but we're the better team. We injected money into the local economy... Not worried.
Marshall Newhouse and the Bills Mafia
Bills offensive lineman Marshall Newhouse joined the show to talk about his transition to Buffalo and the legendary Bills Mafia culture. He hasn't jumped through a table yet, but he’s already scouting the best wing spots in the city. The conversation naturally turned to the Bills' new franchise savior, Josh Allen, and his legendary arm strength.
Marshall NewhouseJosh Allen can throw a football 92 yards
He can throw the ball 92 yards. 92s, exactly.
Newhouse also touched on the locker room dynamics of playing with guys like Aaron Rodgers and Eli Manning. When the topic of player safety and the future of the game came up, Big Cat shared his skeptical stance on the current state of CTE research.
Big CatI am not fully convinced on the CTE science yet
I'm not fully on the CTE thing... I think there's a lot of studies that need to be done. I didn't make a knee-jerk reaction off of one study where they only tested NFL players that thought that they had CTE.
Despite the risks associated with the trenches, Newhouse still sees the value in the game for the next generation, though he'd make some adjustments to the timeline.
Marshall NewhouseI would still let my son play football, but I would delay pads until age 12-14
[If I had a son], I still would [let him play football]. I would just probably delay when he actually was in pads to like 12, 13, 14. It's just some kind of balance... Football's really fun and enjoyable. I don't want to rob my kid from that.
Sabermetrics: The Ketchup Test
The most "football guy" moment of the week comes courtesy of new Cowboys O-line coach Paul Alexander. In his new book, Alexander claims he can judge the intelligence and viability of an offensive lineman based entirely on how they extract ketchup from a glass Heinz 57 bottle.
Big CatA person can be judged by how they get ketchup out of a Heinz bottle
Basically, [Paul Alexander] decides that a player can be judged by how they get the ketchup out of their Heinz 57 ketchup bottle... 'When I see a large football player turn a bottle of ketchup upside down and pound at its heel with tremendous force yet with limited success, I immediately make the mental note he must either play defensive line or if he plays offensive line, he can't play for me.'
Big Cat was fascinated by the idea that a 300-pound man pounding on the bottom of a bottle could be a career-ending red flag for a coach. It’s the kind of over-analytical grit that makes the NFL the greatest league on earth.
To wrap up the week, our friend Paul Bissonnette stopped by the office to read listener roasts and share some stories from his playing days. Biz remains the only man alive who can make a story about a condom-chewing first date sound like a perfectly normal piece of locker room banter.
If you see a 6'3" guy in Scottsdale staring intensely at a Bumble profile, just know he’s checking for Photoshop.
