PMT DB
PMT DB
NFL Week 1 Recap: Aaron Rodgers Mentally Retires and the Jameis Era Begins
Football is officially back, and we’re already at the point where fans are ready to burn everything down or plan a Super Bowl parade based on sixty minutes of action. Big Cat, PFT, and the crew stayed up deep into the night to recap the entire Sunday slate, starting with the mess in Los Angeles and ending with the realization that Aaron Rodgers might already be halfway to a villa in Italy mentally.
Sunday Night Disaster and the Rams Ascent
The Bears-Rams game was supposed to be the arrival of Matthew Stafford, but for Big Cat, it was just another chapter in the book of Matt Nagy's coaching malpractice. Between the refusal to fully commit to Justin Fields and a defense that looked like it forgot how to play secondary, the vibes in Chicago are at an all-time low before the first Monday of the season.
Big CatThe Bears are a bad football team and Matt Nagy is a terrible coach
The Bears suck, man. They really suck. And I don't want to just sit here and just be like, man, they suck. And I hate Matt Nagy because I think people are probably just sick of hearing that. But I really don't have much more to say besides the Bears aren't good. And Matt Nagy, I fucking hate you.
On the flip side, the Rams looked exactly like the juggernaut everyone feared they could be. Matthew Stafford was dancing, Sean McVay was grinning, and for the first time in years, the Rams' offense looked like it actually had a vertical threat.
PFT CommenterThe Rams look like they could win the Super Bowl
The Rams look like they could win the Super Bowl based off of tonight. Well, Rams look pretty good. It was very refreshing to see Matt Stafford play on a competent team for a change.
The Rookie QB Rollercoaster
It was a massive day for the new faces under center. Jalen Hurts looked like a different player against a Falcons team that might be the saddest organization in football right now. While Arthur Smith’s debut was a dud, the Eagles' offense moved with a rhythm that has Big Cat reconsidering his preseason doubts about Hurts.
Big CatJalen Hurts might be the franchise guy for the Eagles
Jalen Hurts. Might be the guy. And so week one is a big like, oh, we probably should have paid attention to this a little more. So I'm a believer in Jalen Hurts now.
Over in Jacksonville, the Trevor Lawrence era started with three interceptions and a lot of questions about Urban Meyer's fitness for the professional game. PFT is already jumping on the bust train, mostly because it’s fun to be early on a hater take, while Big Cat is worried about the coaching staff sabotaging a generational talent.
Big CatUrban Meyer is going to ruin Trevor Lawrence
I'm in the camp of the Jaguars are going to ruin Trevor Lawrence and it starts with Urban Meyer. This Urban Meyer thing. They looked undisciplined. We've heard the reports that people are like, yeah, it kind of sucks to have to play for a guy like Urban Meyer in pro.
Meanwhile, in Foxborough, Mac Jones did exactly what Patriots fans wanted: he was boring and efficient. He managed the game well enough to have the Patriots in a position to win before a late fumble. Hank, in true delusional fan fashion, has already seen enough to plan the next decade of victory parades.
HankMac Jones will conservatively win three Super Bowls
Conservatively, three. Three plus, though, is probably what I would expect. Dynasty officially back on? Yeah. Well, you've got to win the first one.
Mentally Retired and Mentally Checked In
The most shocking result of the day came from Jacksonville (the Saints' temporary home), where Jameis Winston tossed five touchdowns while Aaron Rodgers looked like he was playing in a fog. Rodgers’ performance was so uncharacteristic that Big Cat is convinced the reigning MVP has already checked out of the organization entirely.
Big CatAaron Rodgers is 'mentally retired' and checked out of the Packers
I think he's still playing, but he's technically retired mentally. He's checked out. I would say retired. Aaron Rodgers has mentally retired from the Green Bay Packers. I saw it with my own two eyes. No chance does this come back and haunt me, this clip.
As for the Saints, Jameis is providing maximum efficiency with a side of his usual weirdness. Between forgetting what his trainer told him during post-game interviews and running like a man who is actively shitting himself, the Jameis experience is officially the most entertaining show in the league.
Quick Hits from Around the League
Kyler Murray spent the afternoon playing real-life Madden against a Titans team that had no answer for his speed or the Cardinals' deep receiving corps. He was spinning, backtracking, and launching bombs in a way that had the crew reminiscing about peak Michael Vick.
Big CatKyler Murray is the most 'video game' player since Michael Vick
I think Kyler Murray is the most real-life video game character since Michael Vick. When you watch him run around, it looks like if you had just created a player in a video game and made him 99 speed. It's not even running forward, it's just spinning and running backwards.
The Vikings and Kirk Cousins are already back in their familiar cycle of putting up great stats in a losing effort. For Big Cat, the contract is finally outweighs the production to a point of no return.
Big CatKirk Cousins is officially a 'bad asset' for the Vikings because of his contract
He's officially bad. He's taking resources from everyone else. He's breathing our air. He's a bad asset. It's tough to have everything right around him when he's taking up such a huge percentage of the [cap].
Finally, we had the Battle of the Busts (former and current) in Indy. While Carson Wentz had his moments, Big Cat is officially off the train. He’s seen the movie before and he’s not paying for another ticket.
Big CatI am officially 'cured' of believing Carson Wentz can be good
Thankfully, I am finally cured of my 'Carson Wentz might still be good' disease. So I'm done with that, which is nice because it did cost me a lot of money last year. I just woke up one day and I was like, he sucks.
If Week 1 taught us anything, it's that Jameis Winston is a god, Matt Nagy is a problem, and Tom Brady is probably going to play until he's 60 because everyone else is falling apart around him.
Eat a W for us tonight.
