PMT DB
PMT DB
Ryen Russillo on 49th Birthday, BVT Untold Stories, and Hank’s Lighthouse
The keeper of the light has returned. Hank is back in the studio after officially fulfilling his duties as the Patriots' lighthouse keeper (or bell ringer, depending on who you ask). While Hank tried to spin the Matthew Judon trade as a win-win for everyone involved, Big Cat and PFT were more interested in the fact that the sun miraculously emerged from a hurricane-level storm right as Hank ascended the tower. It turns out the Patriots' lighthouse is basically a Disney World attraction with a virtual tour guide, but that didn't stop Hank from signing the official logbook alongside Tom Brady and Kenny Chesney.
HankThe Matthew Judon trade was the best outcome for both the Patriots and Judon
Matthew Judon, that happened the day after we recorded. He did get traded. I mean, he's a little bit older. He wasn't probably gonna resign. I think, but they realize it's probably best for both parties to trade them. So it was good. You know, everybody's happy.
Preseason football is fully underway, and the hype levels are reaching dangerous territory. Big Cat is already envisioning a fifteen-year dynasty with Caleb Williams after a single rollout completion, while PFT is setting the floor for Jaden Daniels at Hall of Fame levels. Even Patrick Mahomes found a way to make preseason interesting by throwing behind-the-back passes just because Travis Kelce ran the wrong route.
PFT CommenterPatrick Mahomes is so good at football that he is throwing behind-the-back passes out of boredom
I said that it should have been taunting running that play because Patrick Mahomes is now bored of football. He's so good at football that he he can't play like a normal quarterback because it's too easy for him. So he just ups the difficulty level. Now he's throwing behind the back passes.
Big CatCaleb Williams' preseason rollout throw to Rome Odunze was so impressive that all the haters should suck my dick from the back
[Caleb Williams] dropped that rollout to Rome Odunze and I lost my mind and went back to telling the haters to suck my dick from the back. I'm just very excited for week one and I'm very excited to just get on the rollercoaster.
PFT CommenterJaden Daniels' absolute minimum level of play will be Josh Allen
My biggest fear now is that Jaden Daniels is gonna be so goddamn good and that Jaden Daniels is gonna be awesome. Like I'm talking Joe Burrow, I'm talking Josh Allen. ... I'd say minimum, minimum Josh Allen.
Beyond the quarterback play, the Bears fan base had to deal with the "test" of Simone Biles showing up in a Green Bay Packers jacket. Big Cat refused to let it break the city's spirit, arguing that the Olympic hero just hasn't had time to update her wardrobe since returning from Paris.
Big CatSimone Biles wearing a Packers jacket to a Bears game was a test for the Chicago fan base to see if they can maintain their composure
This is a test by Simone Biles. Simone Biles actually doing a great job. She's seeing, 'Hey, you guys gotta start thinking about winning. You can't be worried about jackets.' I'm gonna go out on this field with a jacket and see if you guys can keep your composure. ... I will not let us have a jacket bring us down.
Ryen Russillo on Realignment and BVT
Ryen Russillo joined the guys on the RV to celebrate his 49th birthday and deliver some long-awaited stories about the Barstool Van Talk era. In a moment of rare vulnerability, Ryen admitted he had Big Cat and PFT's back from day one at ESPN, even when management was trying to play Game of Thrones-style politics behind the scenes.
Ryen RussilloThe leak that Stephen A. Smith might pursue acting is a transparent and unbelievable contract leverage move
There was an article recently about Stephen A.'s new contract and it was like, if they can't figure it out, he may go to politics, he may go late night, or he could get into acting. ... But acting? Because he was on General Hospital a couple episodes? Come on. ... Acting? Come on.
The conversation turned to the state of college football, with Ryen and Big Cat finally agreeing that conference realignment has stripped the soul out of the sport. While the 12-team playoff offers more access, Ryen is already dreading the arguments about 11-2 teams that haven't actually beaten anyone of substance.
Ryen RussilloCollege football realignment has killed the cultural and visual identity of the sport
What I loved about the sport was that a PAC-12 game looked like a PAC-12 game. And then culturally, when you would visit all of these different places, the fan bases were lined in a very conference... It just made sense. Now it feels off. It feels weird. The death of the PAC-12 is sad. It's sad. It is sad.
Ryen RussilloThe 12-team Playoff expansion will only move the goalposts for ranking arguments without solving them
I just can't wait for the 12, 13, 14 team arguments. Maybe Tulane. And there's gonna be a 14 Colorado, like a team ranked 14th. You're gonna be like, you stink. You haven't beaten anyone. And you won a chance for the national championship. I don't know that the projection of the 12 teams is like... it's not that fucking hard.
Before letting Ryen go, they touched on the "polling of one" phenomenon in politics and why John Oliver is only convincing when he's talking about things you don't understand. Ryen even threw out a way-too-early NBA title pick for next season, sticking with his brand of favoring the most efficient machine in the league.
Ryen RussilloThe Denver Nuggets will win the 2025 NBA Championship
I think it's really, really tough to repeat. So I'll just say Nuggets.
Mount Rushmore of Best Feelings
The episode wrapped up with a highly contentious Mount Rushmore of Best Feelings. Hank, clearly still paranoid from earlier discussions, used his first overall pick on "feeling boobs." It was a move that left the rest of the room stunned, as Max immediately capitalized by taking "sex" as a broad category, essentially leaving Hank with a single, specific niche while Max took the whole board.
Other highlights included PFT taking the feeling of your dog greeting you at the door and Big Cat picking the thirty minutes before the NCAA Tournament begins. The draft devolved into a debate about whether puring a drive is better than a hole-in-one, but the real winner was Pug, who managed to hit his number on the machine for the fifth time in a row, proving he is a statistical anomaly that cannot be stopped.
If Caleb Williams is still the quarterback when your kids graduate college, just remember this episode was where the dream started.
