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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Gardner Minshew is the perfect Raiders quarterback and will ball out in Las Vegas

Gardner Minshew is the perfect Raiders quarterback. If you want to get back to old-school Raiders football, just have a guy with a mustache that doesn't give a fuck. He's gonna ball out. He's gonna win some games that you won't think he's gonna win.

Minshew started the season but was benched for Aidan O'Connell by Week 6 after several poor performances and turnovers.

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Loss
Aug 19, 2024
#9414
HewyHewy

Angel Reese will be a 20 and 10 player every day and is the WNBA Rookie of the Year

Angel Reese. Yeah. Angel. I love Angel Reese. I think she has like Rodman level rebounding. I fucking love her. If I had to [vote Rookie of the Year], yeah. She'll be a 20 and 10 every day.

Caitlin Clark ultimately won the 2024 WNBA Rookie of the Year award in a nearly unanimous vote.
Loss
Aug 19, 2024
#24479
Big CatBig Cat

Florida State will beat Georgia Tech in Ireland to prove they should have been included in last year's College Football Playoff

Florida State's an 11 half point favorite. Maybe this is them showing out that they should have been included in last year's playoffs. Gotta think that angle.

Georgia Tech defeated #10 Florida State 24-21 in the season opener in Dublin on August 24, 2024.
Win
Aug 19, 2024
#9409
HankHank

The Matthew Judon trade was the best outcome for both the Patriots and Judon

Matthew Judon, that happened the day after we recorded. He did get traded. I mean, he's a little bit older. He wasn't probably gonna resign. I think, but they realize it's probably best for both parties to trade them. So it was good. You know, everybody's happy.

Judon was traded to the Falcons on August 14, 2024. Whether it's 'best' is subjective, but it facilitated the Patriots' rebuild.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.