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Dave Portnoy will live to be 120 years old out of pure spite

Dave, everything will say Dave should die, and then he'll probably live to be like 120 because he's a motherfucker. ... He'll complain every single day for the rest of his life to 120, but he'll live to 120.

Dave Portnoy is still alive and thriving, though 120 is statistically unlikely.

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May 6, 2016
#27354
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I like 'White Randy Moss' more than the football-playing Randy Moss

Not to be racist, but I like white Randy Moss more than black Randy Moss. ... I'm a bigger Randy Moss fan, the [broadcaster], than I am of the football playing Randy Moss.

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May 6, 2016
#10277
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I want to see a linebacker demolish the special needs kid during feel-good football plays

Does it make me a bad person that when that happens I always want some kid to just like truck stick them? ... I always want the opposing linebacker to just demolish the special needs kid and be like, no free plays on my field.

This is a subjective preference for chaos in feel-good moments.
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May 6, 2016
#10279
Big CatBig Cat

Always be wary of an 'offensive genius' coach

The offensive mind, always be wary of the offensive mind. That's actually a good motto in life. Mark Trestman's another one. Always be wary of the offensive genius. I'd rather a defensive guy than an offensive guy any day of the week.

The success of 'offensive geniuses' vs 'defensive guys' is a long-standing sports debate that varies by coach.

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College basketball has five absolutely dominant teams this year

We have five, you could even maybe go to six, just absolutely dominant teams. Michigan, UConn, Duke, Arizona, and Florida that are playing at such an insane level.

The dominance of these teams will be tested in the upcoming NCAA tournament in March 2026.
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Florida can win the national championship because they can shoot threes now

Florida though, I've been talking about Florida for three weeks. They could shoot threes now. They absolutely kicked [Arkansas's]... They just throttle teams. All four of [Duke, Michigan, Arizona, Florida] would be the best team in the previous five years.

Whether Florida wins the title or performs as an elite team will be decided by the end of March Madness.
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Miami of Ohio will make the tournament even if they lose in the conference tournament

I'm saying right now, winning every... If they go undefeated in the conference, that is so hard to do. I think if they go undefeated in the conference and then lose in the conference tournament, I think they will be in.

This will be resolved on Selection Sunday, March 15th, 2026.

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