Winning back-to-back Stanley Cups is basically cheating

I didn't know you could win back-to-back Stanley Cups, so that's kind of cheating in my mind. I hate the Blackhawks. We never knew that those rules existed.

The U.S. government should use being a hockey fan as an interrogation technique for terrorists

The United States government should make one of their new enhanced interrogation techniques for terrorists. Just make the terrorists become a hockey fan. Watch three overtimes. And then have to watch playoff games until their team loses in the Stanley Cup Finals.

The Stanley Cup is the best trophy in all of sports

The Stanley Cup itself is the best trophy in all of sports. I think we can all agree on that.

The NBA Finals are a sideshow circus off the court

Once you get to the finals, it becomes... a sideshow circus off the court. It's like everyone you've ever known all of a sudden is your best friend and wants tickets. Every basketball media outlet in the entire world is focused on this one game, this one series, and then it crosses over into pop culture.

LeBron James is a murderer and a scary dude on the basketball court

His intensity was night and day. Not just his intensity and his competitiveness. I mean, he has a killer instinct. He's a killer out there. He'll tear your head off and dunk it... He's an intense, scary dude. You don't want to get in his way.

The Ray Allen Game 6 shot in 2013 was the worst loss of my entire life

That Ray Allen shot and that loss was the worst loss in my entire life, easily... It was over. We won the championship. And then, bam, we missed free throws. They get offensive rebounds. They hit a couple threes, ending with that Ray Allen one. And we lost the game, and it was, like, just so crushing.