It is good for MLB to not have the Home Run Derby associated with Christian Yelich and his previous 'anal lingus' controversy

You know what's great is it's good for the sport not to have people associate the home run derby with anal lingus. [Christian Yelich] is not competing... we did it, one more year of keeping our tongues out of each other's buttholes.

I'm a 'Misery' guy and think MLB is right to put the 'phenom' Brody Brecht in the All-Star game to grow the sport

I don't think deserving is the right word. I think it's why... we wanna tune in and try to grow the game back and people wanna watch him. It like, this guy throws the ball so fast, so hard. And he's had a great start to his career. I'm a misery guy. I don't even know how to say his name. Misery... he puts asses in seats.

The Washington Nationals drafted Eli Willits first overall because they are afraid of agent Scott Boras

I think we drafted this guy [Eli Willits] because we're afraid of Scott Boras. And also because we had to pay King Scott Boras, big time king... It would help if the Nationals drafted a player who was not represented by Scott Boras, who has just bent them over for the last 10 years repeatedly.

Fettuccine Alfredo is fake Italian food.

Alfredo's not real Italian. There's no heavy cream in Italian cuisine. Alfredo's fake Italian. He [Rick Pitino] would maybe do a lemon chicken, maybe do a lemon chicken Piccata. But Alfredo... Cacho e pepe, that's Italian. But there's no heavy cream in Italian cuisine.

The Sixers are a bad team that loses every game Joel Embiid doesn't play

The Sixers suck. The Sixers are a bad team. Embiid's not playing. They lose—the Sixers are back to losing every game that Embiid doesn't play.

My 'dinner simulator' habit of building food orders and not buying them is a sign of good self-control

Instead of going and making myself a snack or making myself food or ordering food, I'll just pull up the apps, Uber Eats... and I'll just like put together an order of what I would order if I were to get something. And then I clear my cart and I go to bed... It's really good self-control.