Morning international games ruin the day for functional human beings

When you have the morning game, it fucks up your entire day as a functional human being. You wake up early, you can't do anything because you're watching the football game. And then guess what? When that football game's over, you have to watch another football game. Roger Goodell hates church.

The Steelers offense is for real now that Aaron Rodgers is getting the ball out fast

Steelers offense actually looked for real. Maybe this is what the Steelers offense is going to be, is Aaron Rodgers getting the ball out insanely fast. I think I saw the stat, it was 2.17 seconds to throw. He just was whipping it around. It didn't matter because the Steelers' offense looked better than it has in a while.

Mike Tomlin absolutely lives in his fears despite his favorite catchphrase

Mike Tomlin, one of his favorite quotes to say is, 'we don't live in our fears.' Bullshit, dude. You do live in your fears. You had a fourth and maybe a half a yard on the opponent's 39 yard line and you punted. Everyone in the world is going for this. Just maybe go for it.

Maxx Crosby to the Ravens is a great move that makes their defense scary

Congrats to the Ravens. Congrats to Jesse Minter. This is a good, a great move. Their defense is gonna be scary. I love the transition from Maxx Crosby was always meant to be playing in a badass uniform. Raiders to Ravens, it's like, okay.

The Cowboys 'monitoring' every situation is just a facade for doing nothing

Thoughts and prayers to the Dallas Cowboys who are now leading the NFL in number of guys that they're monitoring... they've been monitoring every situation. So they were monitoring the Crosby situation extremely closely. And they're very disappointed that they did not get Maxx Crosby, despite the fact that they're monitoring.

Kyler Murray's next team will reveal whether he actually cares about football

I think where Kyler decides to go is going to be very interesting. Yeah. Because no, no matter where he goes, I think we'll be able to say some very definitive statements about Kyler that might, might be wrong, but we'll definitely say them. If he goes to the Jets, it's like, oh, Kyler wanted to take a paycheck. Right. And he still doesn't care about football. Right.