I'm 'too fat' to go by Matt, so use Matthew instead

I'd prefer Matthew. I think I'm a little too fat for Matt. I think Matt's, you know, last six months, they've probably gotten laid.

I'm officially 'washed' after struggling in the home run derby

Tuesday night we hit dingers... but I think I'm officially, officially washed because... I was halfway through the whole competition and I looked at the leaderboard and it was like me, Titus, Chief, Brandon... every guy who's 37 plus. I was maxing out everything I had and it wasn't that good.

Macomb High School football will win the Michigan state title this year

I'm from Detroit... Macomb... a high school. We got a lot of cougars out there. 'cause that's our high school name. Oh, the football team will win state this year. That's the goal. Every year... Do it. You're gonna be in it for rude awakening.

Most people are full of shit and lie just to make themselves seem more interesting

I think everybody's lying to you... just think that everybody's full of shit. And most people are. I mean, you a lot of times you go and you start talking to people. If they're at a party, people start bragging... they're already lying because you're trying to be entertaining, you're trying to sound interesting. So a lot of things that people are saying to you are gonna be false.

There is a unique thrill and rush to sneaking into places without paying

It's a absolutely. You have a rush. There's something about it. There's something about not paying for something and getting away with it. And you gotta see something. That was amazing seeing Game seven of the Stanley Cup. I met Jordan at his double nickel game.