The Cavs-Warriors rubber match is the NBA Finals we need

It is the Cavs, Warriors, the finals everyone wants to see, the finals we need. It's the rubber match.

LeBron James' seven straight Finals appearances should have an asterisk because they were in the Eastern Conference

Asterisk, asterisk. They're all against the East. True. So let's not crown them just yet.

LeBron James threw Game 3 against the Celtics to help the Celtics' ticket sales

LeBron James threw Game 3 just so that all of Boston had to buy tickets for Game 5 so that he could buttfuck them in public.

College basketball has five absolutely dominant teams this year

We have five, you could even maybe go to six, just absolutely dominant teams. Michigan, UConn, Duke, Arizona, and Florida that are playing at such an insane level.

Florida can win the national championship because they can shoot threes now

Florida though, I've been talking about Florida for three weeks. They could shoot threes now. They absolutely kicked [Arkansas's]... They just throttle teams. All four of [Duke, Michigan, Arizona, Florida] would be the best team in the previous five years.

Miami of Ohio will make the tournament even if they lose in the conference tournament

I'm saying right now, winning every... If they go undefeated in the conference, that is so hard to do. I think if they go undefeated in the conference and then lose in the conference tournament, I think they will be in.