The New England Patriots are dead (but they're still going to win the division)

The New England Patriots are dead. Actually, they're still going to win the division, but it's times like this I thank my lucky stars I'm not a New England Patriots fan.

Patrick Mahomes' presence has taught Alex Smith how to throw the long ball

Alex Smith, out of nowhere, showed that he can throw that long ball tonight. Pat Mahomes is like when you have an old male dog that has always pissed putting its hips down at the ground... and when you bring a new pup in that lifts its leg on something, your old dog's like, holy shit, that looks cool. Mahomes is a young pup that's taught Alex Smith to lift his leg.

Alex Smith will have another 12 years in the NFL as a career backup and will usurp Josh McCown

That guy [Alex Smith] is going to have another, like, 12 years as a backup. That guy is going to be the—he's going to be a backup on, like, four more teams after he gets demoted from the team. He's going to usurp Josh McCown for career backup guy.

College basketball has five absolutely dominant teams this year

We have five, you could even maybe go to six, just absolutely dominant teams. Michigan, UConn, Duke, Arizona, and Florida that are playing at such an insane level.

Florida can win the national championship because they can shoot threes now

Florida though, I've been talking about Florida for three weeks. They could shoot threes now. They absolutely kicked [Arkansas's]... They just throttle teams. All four of [Duke, Michigan, Arizona, Florida] would be the best team in the previous five years.

Miami of Ohio will make the tournament even if they lose in the conference tournament

I'm saying right now, winning every... If they go undefeated in the conference, that is so hard to do. I think if they go undefeated in the conference and then lose in the conference tournament, I think they will be in.