Quitting your job before March Madness is the best feeling in the world

It is the best two days of the year to call in sick for work, bar none. I had some friends, and back like six or seven years ago, we would all quit our jobs in anticipation of March Madness so that we just wouldn't have to worry about going into work... it feels like you're on heroin because it's such a reckless thing to do for like this little bit of endorphin payout.

There is no better high in the world than getting to cancel plans

The canceled plans, when I get to cancel a plan, there is no better high in the entire world. Actually, no. I should take that back. When someone else cancels plans on me because I never want to do anything anymore. So when they cancel plans on me, then I'm not the shithead who canceled the plans. That's the best feeling in the world.

We need a 'relegation league' Monday night football game to help people transition off the March Madness high

This is how you wean people off March Madness is if we just had like a Monday night football game on Monday night, like if it was just Titans Jaguars on Monday night, the relegation league... You need sports that your body is craving it. Boom. Football's back.

Malik Nabers is a true No. 1 receiver

Malik Nabers is a bonafide, bonafide number one in the league, I think. I think Malik Nabers is a true number one.

The Giants are a fun, good team

Even when they're good, they're not fun. This is a fun team. The Giants are fun. Good. Yeah. And I do think that they are a good team.

The Falcons can win the NFC South

Why can't they win the NFC South? Especially what we saw from the Panthers today.