Watching college basketball for 15 hours a day is a sport in itself

Watching college basketball for 15 hours a day is a sport. It is. It is literally a sport, and we're pretty fucking good at it.

Ja Morant will be a Chicago Bull

Ja Morant, future Chicago Bull, Ja Morant was lights out. And Murray State dominated Marquette.

I would have taken Tom Izzo in a fight against his own players

[Tom Izzo] was going at him. And you know what? I would have taken Tom Izzo in the fight. He looked like he should be on the sidelines wearing a white tank top with a stain on it. He was on Cops holding a pint of Jack. He was very, very angry.

The dumbest person you know still thinks Ronaldo is better than Messi

I'd like to read a tweet to you real quick... from Bobby Bosco. He said the dumbest person you know still thinks Ronaldo is better than Messi. That's so true.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.