The Vikings can beat any team in the NFC

The Vikings definitely need to be taken for real in terms of the NFC. Like they are a team that could beat anyone in my mind. I don't think there's one team in the NFC where you're like, man, that team [is untouchable] besides maybe the 49ers.

The Eagles will win the NFC East because the Cowboys only beat up on the 'Sisters of the Poor'

I think that Dak Prescott is a franchise quarterback, but them as a full team, not that good. And the teams they've beaten have been bad, and they beat up on the Sisters of the Poor... I think the Eagles will win that division because they're now tied 5-4, and the remaining game is in Philadelphia.

The Ravens' win over the 0-8 Bengals was more impressive than their wins against the Patriots and Seahawks

This win by the Ravens today was more impressive than their wins against the Patriots and the Seahawks because this was a classic letdown spot, a classic spot where the Ravens were going to read their press clippings... No. They demolished them from the first play on.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.