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Big CatBig Cat

Iowa and Wisconsin football programs exist solely to have their hearts ripped out in moments of hope

Iowa and Wisconsin are both very similar in college but they just live to get crushed. It's like there's just moments in between getting your heart ripped out. So there's no real, like, excitement otherwise.

This is a subjective assessment of a program's identity and fan experience.

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Void
Sep 25, 2017
#24590
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NFL intentionally delivers its most entertaining games when its back is against the wall

Just so happens, the NFL had the most entertaining slate of games in years. Maybe a call? On the weekend where they perhaps needed it more than ever. Maybe [Commissioner] David Stern made the call.

This is a subjective conspiracy theory about game entertainment levels being manipulated by the league office.
Win
Sep 25, 2017
#18166
Big CatBig Cat

Joe Flacco is officially no longer elite and stinks

I think Flacco stinks. Are we now worried that Joe Flacco's eliteness is so far behind us that we will never remember that he was once elite?

Flacco's 2017 season was poor (18 TDs, 13 INTs) and he was eventually replaced by Lamar Jackson. His 'elite' status never returned.
Void
Sep 25, 2017
#18167
Big CatBig Cat

Ben Roethlisberger has the worst body in America

Is Big Ben hurt? Well, yes. So he's always in a constant state. His body is never good... Big Ben, as the crow flies, has probably the worst body in general of anyone in America. Name me anybody with a shittier body.

This is a subjective and hyperbolic comedic comparison of bodies in America.

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Big CatBig Cat

Ohio State moved senior night because it is scared of Michigan

If you're saying, 'Hey, we can't do it for the Michigan game because it's something that's just totally different and separate unto itself,' do it the last home game before that, which would be Northwestern. But that senior night though should be—you'd basically just be saying, 'I'm scared of doing it against Michigan.'

This is an interpretation of Ohio State's motivation and cannot be definitively verified.
Open
Big CatBig Cat

Michigan is closer to 7-5 than a playoff team

If Bryce Underwood doesn't take a massive step forward, this is closer to a seven-five team than a playoff team.

Michigan's 2026 season outcome has not been established at the time of this episode.
Open
Big CatBig Cat

Wisconsin has to win eight games

He's gotta win eight. I think he would tell you he's gotta win eight. Because if you win seven, that means you probably lost to Penn State, Iowa, USC and UCLA or Minnesota, and it's like some of those are not okay.

Wisconsin's 2026 final record has not yet been determined.