The 2018 first weekend was the craziest in NCAA tournament history

I actually I'm gonna say it: it was the craziest first weekend in tournament history. We had the first ever 16 beat a one... you had two seeds that both could have won the tournament, UNC and Cincy, and then you had two three seeds, Michigan State and Tennessee, who lost.

The UMBC upset was a calculated move by the school to develop a national profile and drive admissions

I'm staying a little bit woke on that... this was a very good opportunity for UMBC to develop a national profile with a Twitter account. And then they used it to start like promoting their president. And they tweeted out like links to apply to UMBC.

The Syracuse zone is the college basketball equivalent of Navy's triple-option offense

I compare the Syracuse zone to Georgia Tech's offense or Navy's offense in football. It's not fun to watch. It's not especially exciting. But it's so much different from everything else that you see all year that a team that plays that zone can beat any team in the country a couple times out of ten.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.