J.J. Watt being healthy is the official sign that football is back

you know football is back because there's a lot of buzz about J.J. Watt not being injured... J.J. Watt being like, is this the year that J.J. Watt can stay healthy all year? That means football is officially back.

The Hall of Fame game becomes absolute dog shit after the first five minutes

I'm excited for the Hall of Fame game. My dumb brain tricks my dumb body into getting all amped up for the Hall of Fame game. And then I forget that after the first five minutes of the game, it's just absolute dog shit.

The Lakers have 14 players other than LeBron James who know how to play basketball

the narrative that LeBron James doesn't have any good teammates... super cool Michael Beasley said... you got 14 guys other than LeBron James that know how to play basketball. Also fact.

The 2026 Thanksgiving Day schedule is the best single day of football ever

Wednesday night is the Packers versus the Rams. Then Thursday, Thanksgiving day is Bears, lions, Eagles, Cowboys, chiefs bills. That will be great. Like the day of Thanksgiving? Yeah. That's the best day of football I think maybe ever.

The Colorado Avalanche will win the Stanley Cup

Congratulations to the Colorado Avalanche on winning the Stanley Cup. I'd like to say congratulations to the [Avs]. Pretty good bet to the [Avs]. Pretty good it's a pretty good bet if you, if you're a betting man, which I am. Congrats to the [Avs].

Pittsburgh fleeced Boston in the gorilla trade

I think Boston got fleeced. Frankie got traded, 7-year-old. Frankie got traded to the Boston Zoo. He's going to just be chilling with a bunch of other dudes. Little Joe got traded to Pittsburgh because he's going to be mating and making new gorilla. Pittsburgh's the one that's gonna be making more gorillas. You guys are do everything all wrong. They're, they're making a gorilla factory in Pittsburgh.