Trevor Lawrence is the greatest rookie quarterback of all time given he has the 'horniest coach in the world'

Trevor Lawrence is actually the greatest rookie quarterback of all time given the circumstances, given the fact that his coach [Urban Meyer] is the horniest guy in the world, the team stinks... he's providing a steady hand and he's guiding this franchise during a tumultuous time when they don't have a leader.

Urban Meyer doesn't actually enjoy football; he just wants to be out of the house

I don't think [Urban Meyer] enjoys any part of football. No, I think he just likes being out of the house.

Tua Tagovailoa is a 'wait and see' guy who will ruin your franchise

When you have a guy that is a wait and see guy, those are the worst guys. Those are the guys that like 10 years from now, 15 years from now, you look back and you're like, well, we really wasted three years... the wait and see guys, they will ruin your franchise because you're like, I think this guy can be good if we just get stability around him.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.