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Void
Big CatBig Cat

The 49ers would win the Super Bowl if they had Tom Brady

I think you probably win the Super Bowl with Tom Brady [on the 49ers].

Since Brady never joined the 49ers, this remains a subjective hypothetical. Brady did win the Super Bowl with the Bucs the following year, supporting the idea he could still lead a team to a ring.

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Push
Mar 16, 2020
#17674
Big CatBig Cat

The sports void will feel better once the usual March Madness window passes

I think it will get better after two weeks when we aren't in the March Madness Zone, but Thursday morning. I'm going to need you all to text me and check in check in with your friends, because that's going to be a tough one for me to wake up.

The 'sports void' didn't really get better in two weeks; it arguably got worse as people realized the long-term nature of the pandemic, though the initial sting of missing the tournament did fade.
Win
Mar 16, 2020
#17675
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Bored NFL owners and GMs will make crazy trades during the quarantine

I predict that just out of sheer boredom from some of these owners and GMs, they're going to be some crazy trades that happen. They're just going to happen because the other owners and the other GMs are just like we need some action going on. I'm bored. Let's fucking pick up the phone and make some weird Arrangements.

The DeAndre Hopkins trade to the Cardinals happened on March 16, 2020, the same day this released, and was considered one of the 'craziest' trades in recent history.
Void
Mar 16, 2020
#17676
Big CatBig Cat

Odell Beckham Jr. would have been the Rudy Gobert of the NFL regarding coronavirus

Actually Odell Beckham like he we talked about Rudy Gobert on Friday, but he definitely would have been the Rudy Gobert of NFL. He would have caught a touchdown and put on a mask and gloves and then like wait, where'd you get that? Like, I actually I just got it from like the training staff who got it from a hospital. Whoops. Now, I have coronavirus.

This is a subjective character comparison that cannot be strictly proven, although OBJ did not have a 'Gobert' moment.

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Loss
Big CatBig Cat

Arizona is the best team in the country

Arizona just showing that they are probably the best team in the country because they absolutely whooped Arkansas.

Arizona lost to Clemson in the 2024 Sweet 16, which is the real-world event this likely parodies despite the prompt's 2026 date.
Open
Big CatBig Cat

Ben McCollum will never leave the Iowa Hawkeyes for another job

I don't think he's going anywhere. He's from Iowa City. He's coached for 15 years in division two... gets his dream job at Iowa. I don't think he's going anywhere.

McCollum was a highly sought-after name after his D2 success.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Jay Bilis is being disingenuous with his criticism of the transfer portal

Jay Bilis is being disingenuous... what I don't understand about Jay Bilis is like, so what if people complain about the transfer portal and the NIL... this is a tweet from 20 years ago. Everyone's saying Will Wade's a dickhead.

This is a subjective critique of a media personality's stance.

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