Patrick Mahomes would have been a bust if he were drafted by the Chicago Bears

This is why I've always said when everyone's like well, we could have Patrick Mahomes. Patrick Mahomes would have got hit by a bus if he had been a Chicago Bear. There is just it's never going to be in the cards for the Bears to be able to move the football.

The Rams play 'Mickey Mouse' football with their excessive pre-snap motion

I agree with your take that they're playing too fast. That's gonna be Mickey Mouse football when Sean McVay gets in his huddle and then he has his players shift around like it's a game of three-card monte at a carnival just to confuse the defense.

Jerry Jones should treat Mike Nolan like he's in prison until the Cowboys' defense improves

If you're a good owner and you've got someone as shitty as Mike Nolan that's still employed, he shouldn't be allowed to season his food or have any flavor. You need to treat him like he's in prison... until he either quits on his own or decides that he's going to get better and be accountable and start to make improvements. You take away all salt, pepper. He should not be eating hot food or spicy food at all.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.