Patrick Mahomes would have been a bust if he were drafted by the Chicago Bears

This is why I've always said when everyone's like well, we could have Patrick Mahomes. Patrick Mahomes would have got hit by a bus if he had been a Chicago Bear. There is just it's never going to be in the cards for the Bears to be able to move the football.

The Bears might get lucky and beat the Saints on Sunday

I'm still not gonna apologize for five and two... I'm running the luck train. The Bears are they have one very lucky games this year. They're not a very good team. But sometimes the NFL you'll just get the lucky bounce and just ride it. So I'm not going to apologize for five and two and I think they might even beat the Saints on Sunday.

The Rams play 'Mickey Mouse' football with their excessive pre-snap motion

I agree with your take that they're playing too fast. That's gonna be Mickey Mouse football when Sean McVay gets in his huddle and then he has his players shift around like it's a game of three-card monte at a carnival just to confuse the defense.

Kevin Cash let his computer ruin the World Series by pulling Blake Snell in Game 6

The game was a Kevin Cash versus computer and he let his computer fuck him in the face and the Rays died by sabermetrics and congrats to the Dodgers... Blake Snell was 73 pitches, zero runs into the game and he pulled him after a single... The computer says we've got to go to the bullpen. I'm gonna freak out I'm a nerd I've never realized that the game is played with emotion and humans and not on a spreadsheet.

Every front office run by 'nerds' should have one 'asshole' in the dugout to veto computer-driven decisions

If you have a team that's comprised of nerds of the front office controlling decision-making, you should have one asshole in the dugout and during the playoffs that asshole gets to fight the nerd or the dork that's telling them to do something completely against the asshole's gut feeling. You get one fight. You knock them out and you get to take that decision making.

The Washington Nationals are still the current regular full-season World Series champions

I'd also like to say that the Washington Nationals are still current regular full season World Series champions that is for the record that I've gone to game seven. What the fuck? What happened?

The 2020 Dallas Cowboys offensive line injuries are unprecedented in NFL history

I don't think we've seen a team hit by injuries like the Dallas Cowboys. I don't know if ever in the history of the NFL. Your both offensive tackles—not just tackles, these two pro bowlers—gone. Your starting Pro Bowl Center retires on you. Then the second guy they look he goes and get hurt. Zack Martin was the only guy that was consistent and he's in and out of the lineup.

Dak Prescott's leverage increases every time the Cowboys lose a game without him

Jerry every time you try somebody else out there, he's making me money. This is Dak sitting back at the table like let my leg get healed up, you give me my money... Watching the team go without him, his head has calmed down. He's saying right now, 'Yeah, my money. I'll be there.'

A dynasty ends the moment a team stops expecting to win by 30 and starts wondering if they can win at all

I remember the moment the dynasty ended. Deion [Sanders] came to me and we were talking about something. I said to Deion, 'It's over.' We were not having that feeling where we walk in and say, 'How many points are we winning by?' Now we were going into these games saying, 'Okay, can we win these games?'

Being an NFL media personality is more mentally exhausting than actually playing in the NFL

I get more tired at this than I did at playing... when the bodies are exhausted, the mind is still racing... But in this [media], when you're exhausted, you're exhausted here in the mind... the mind is shut down. I never was going to shut down after a long game on Sunday.

Jerry Jones should treat Mike Nolan like he's in prison until the Cowboys' defense improves

If you're a good owner and you've got someone as shitty as Mike Nolan that's still employed, he shouldn't be allowed to season his food or have any flavor. You need to treat him like he's in prison... until he either quits on his own or decides that he's going to get better and be accountable and start to make improvements. You take away all salt, pepper. He should not be eating hot food or spicy food at all.

It is incorrect to claim that shaming the Cowboys for not defending Andy Dalton is 'toxic masculinity'

There was a guy from Pro Football Focus who said that in my humble opinion, attacking the Cowboys for not going after [Jon] Bostic, who by any means wasn't a threat to [Andy] Dalton anymore, is toxic masculinity at its peak. ... Forgive me for not wanting to trust what a German has to say about a bunch of people with stars on their shirts.

The Big Ten made a mistake by deciding to play the 2020 football season

I'm down to just shift and be like, you know, the Big Ten was a bad idea. I'm down to just shift and be like, 'The Big Ten was a bad idea.' I have no idea what's the right amount of days [to quarantine].