The Patriots' best-case scenario is 12 wins and an AFC Championship appearance

Best case, 12 wins, win the division. [Make] the AFC Championship. I don't want to get crazy.

My worst-case scenario for the Bears is Caleb Williams being 'absolute dog shit'

I think we all know my worst case scenario, it's that Caleb [Williams] is dog shit... It's essentially that everyone is good around Caleb and Caleb is just absolute dog shit. That would be worst case scenario by far.

My worst-case scenario for the Commanders is Jayden Daniels suffering a major knee injury

My worst case scenario because it does, I think about this every Sunday. Is Jayden Daniels' knee exploding? Oh, I think I think about it way too much every time he gets hit. I think about it.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.